Shamanic Tuition Testimonials - Page One

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

photo credit: alickepopkorn

My name is Robinson David Martinez. I live in Brooklyn, NYC. I have read Lujan’s book, “The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception” three times. This book has helped me in such profound ways, yet in a simple, subtle, everyday manner. I have had saturation in life and my being has felt like the rigidity of a stone. Lujan’s words have been to me like the consistent drop of water that has helped hollow out that rigidity. They have provided the words emptiness, fluidity and formlessness.

Like the right hand and the left, we have an old self, with a set of routines and behavior that makes us sticky and feel stuck. We also have a better side of our self, a professional human being with kindness, surging energy, who gives and receives love in abundance and who simply has a whole bunch of fun. I have been taught, through Lujan’s words, that you must dissect darkness in order to see the light. I have been made aware of something, at least in this stage of my growth, which has made a big difference: when i do the right thing (when i do what has to be done) when i do something from my heart, there is a surge of energy that feels very good. When I allow myself to be lazy and not act in the way the subtle voice of my heart dictates, right out of nowhere a damn of energy is built right within myself. How do we free ourselves from heaviness, self-imposed and imposed upon by others? How do i free myself of myself? Imagine Lujan’s timeless inherited knowledge as a gigantic golden key with a thousand keys within it that light on and off like a fireflies. Where are they? In our heart.

Then another idea that has been elusive for me for a while: when you have more energy you think more clearly. Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, the bullies in our life, the situations and circumstances, the pain–all of these create energetic blockages like a pinched nerve. Why are you reading this? Why did i read testimonies before I made contact with Lujan? Because in my heart of hearts I felt that there was something out of balance that needed balancing. And it still does. And hence the idea of the warrior, a type of spiritual identity that has enabled me to push beyond the nagging, critical, self-deprecating moments. I have learned from Lujan that less is more, that for success, one needs to go very slow, with much effort but without tension nor obsession–with a lengthened spine and total relaxation.

In the challenges of life, in the ups, in my downs and in my in betweens, i keep the idea of the warrior in my heart. It is the golden lotus flower which grows right next to the palpitations of my heart and it is still small, but it is growing with power and kindness.

Attend a workshop with Lujan and your world will change.

With gratitude.

Robinson David Martinez

robinson8dm@gmail.com

~

“When the student is ready, The teacher will come”

I have been working on the path of self improvement for over ten years now. I have read many authors on this subject . I was purchasing a similar book online when the dealer suggested “I might also like”… Parallel Perception by Lujan Matus. I decided to purchase the book on a the fact that the title sounded interesting.

Reading this book marked a true turning point in my life. The book itself is full of more knowledge than I would have ever guessed, but one line in particular changed my life far more than anything else I read. On the very last blank page of the book there was one small line of text in the middle of the page reading www.parallelperception.com. If I only had an idea of the magnitude that this one little line carried.

I followed the rabbit hole a little deeper and went to the site. Here the quote I wrote at the top came true. I began my online tuition with Lujan. I realize now that the previous ten years of self work had been the preparation for what was to come. In 12 weeks of online tuition with the Nagual, I had accomplished more than the entire 10 years of preceding work. All things come in the correct time, but I am here to tell you that you don’t have to wait any longer than necessary. If you can’t go directly to Bali the online tuition is the answer.

Lujan will not “give” you anything. The strange thing is that you don’t need to be “given” anything. You have inside you already all the things that you will ever need in this life. Lujan with his system of knowledge is a key to unlocking this power that resides within you, but the work is still yours to do. I can personally assure you through my own experiences with him that he definitely holds the key to our closed doors. Contact with him will fling these doors wide open. Try it…see what lies behind the closed doors of your own mind.

Bill

USA

Wlhamjr@yahoo.com

~

I have been practicing Tapping and Dragons Tears for over a year after I spent a couple weeks with Lujan over in Bali in December 2007, and it has been a very transformative experience. Training each day is both a great challenge and a great joy!

It leaves me feeling supercharged and clear. It is a powerful means of stirring up, blasting through stagnant energy in your body and re distribiting it to your center, this subtle feeling that grows with practice which becomes an internal reference point that follows you into your day.

It has been such an important thing for me to have a daily practice, it is an advisor no doubt, that reflects back on everything else in my life and vice versa. It’s a killer workout, and the vitality that is acheived really has helped me to cut through so much social bullshit.

The contrived and dead social agreements seem so fucking boring from the perspective of an alive and vital body, and that is what this training awakens. Intensity of feeling has increased. Laughter has become explosive. My love of music has been supercharged.

The strength that has manifested with training has shown me I can actually help other people in a real sense, offer support and comfort, whereas before self obsession and fear ruled me. I am more at ease alone, I am more at ease in company- i no longer see a distinction between the two- just the alignment with this inner feeling, it doesn’t matter what is happening around me.

I have been doing this for just over a year, Lujan has been practicing for something like 30 years. The intensity that he brings to the table is just shattering, very, very humbling. I have never met anyone like him. To anyone out there reading this- dare to take the dive you will not regret it.

Thank you, you magnificent man!
I feel like dancing!


Callabama

New Zealand

callabamaslamma@hotmail.com

~

Lujan, Thanks again for another magical week!

I’ve just done another 5 days with Lujan, this time learning a new form called small mountain which is the first segment of the Jaguar Series, which really opened up my energy like nothing I have experienced before…nothing to be explained or put into verbal words…its something so magical that I feel my strength opening in areas I had no awareness of before.

One of the unique effects of the Jaguar Series is that I am now constantly dreaming every night of performing these movements and when I was learning with Lujan I was constantly being taught the Jaguar Series in dreaming by him.

Every time I am with Lujan I receive a key in which I unlock the many gateways towards emptiness…to freeing myself of the social bullshit and manipulations I weave myself into.
Its like walking along your path, sometimes looking outside and veering to the left or right, though with Lujan I walk directly on my tight rope to where I’m going with no distractions to push me off. I know where it is I stand now.

The events which have occurred these past few weeks have been so potent that I can no longer hide from or lie to myself. Everything has arisen to the surface, nothing resides hidden…
I now feel someone and they appear, or have an issue and its directly reflected through everything that surrounds me…if I cant find a clear answer to something then someone will randomly walk by and answer my question for me aloud as they walk by…there is nowhere to hide anymore and no need to hide anyway.

Lujan has helped me to utilize so many tools through his words, to practicing tapping and the tears which I continue as part of my practice daily. The tapping opens up so much energy and I feel after practicing it for some time that the body becomes hard as iron.

The other day I knocked my leg and didn’t even feel it! If I don’t do it in the morning I feel the difference…it charges me with energy for the day and awakens all my muscles and cells.
This time with Lujan I also learned some new gazing techniques, cloud gazing and flower gazing. Lujan warned me to rotate my eyes clockwise otherwise it could be dangerous. Unconsciously I moved for a split second anticlockwise. Lujan said at this point he saw a beam of black light coming down from the sky.

That night I had an experience which frightened me deeply. There was something in the room moving objects on my alter and this happened four nights in a row.

Lujan explained that the Tibetan mandala rotates in a clockwise direction and there is a good reason for this. He said that the Nazis reversed this mandala to rotate anti-clockwise (swastika). He said that this provokes forces that should not be unleashed within the gazing as I discovered.

Lujan also showed me how to take the light from stars by plucking them out of the sky! Though this time he took a planet’s light, not a star’s….which disappeared from the sky and then reappeared after 30 seconds. He said that you can take the light from a dead star that has imploded or exploded. A planet’s light can be taken only for a short period and then the planet replaces itself after the gazing.
Lujan I look forward to our next meeting, hopefully sooner than later…Thank you for being such an honest and loving teacher and friend!

Natalie Zukerman,

Mullumbimby Australia.

sandhyalove777@yahoo.com.au

~

Without reservation I can say the two weeks I spent under the tutelage of Lujan Matus were the most intense, demanding, and rewarding of my life. He is without a doubt the most elegant human being I have ever met, and the shift his mere presence created within me continues.

‘Dragons Tears’ is a fluid series of movements whose practice I look forward to each day. I was interrupted while performing these movements recently and when I finally responded to the person they said, “Man, you were in a trance.” After finishing this series I feel as if I’ve just emerged from a deep meditation - calm, quiet, and aware.

“Tapping” is an intense workout that both challenges and enables me to confront myself in ways I never have before. I have never learned or practiced any series of movements or exercises where the flowing of internal energy is so conspicuous as that which occurs through ‘Tapping.’ Each day brings something new: Whether it be a subtle emotion, a person in my life needing attention, or more often then not, something in myself needing to be confronted. After only three weeks of practice I reunited with my wife and she said I was leaner, more muscular, and remarked that I looked younger.

The gazing techniques Lujan shared were both simple and effective. Using these techniques opens channel previously closed, and has allowed me to open myself to the magic that surrounds us all.

I cannot say enough about the attention and ability of Lujan Matus as an instructor. When you visit him you are given the entirety of his attention, and this was the greatest of the many gifts he shared with me. It’s true that I left Bali with series of movements and techniques that are priceless, but the insights gleaned from the personal interaction with the Nagual was the most precious gift of all.

Love and respect,

H. Vadnais, USA

siddarther@juno.com

~

I did an online tuition with Lujan Matus about 6 months ago. I wanted to wait to give my testimonial because I knew there would be many changes in my life.

When the tuition started I told Lujan my main objective was to eliminate imprints so I could have a clearer heart. The Nagual helped me accomplish this successfully. He also helped me to be comfortable in ‘knowing’ without reason. It has made all the difference in my life.

Since the start of the tuition I have gotten out of a relationship that was energetically weakening and compromised my own integrity. I have also been clear enough to really accept my feelings.

Two years ago I met the most wonderful woman but my mind would not allow me to be clear about how I felt for her. Since our tuition I have reconnected with this person and for the first time in my life I can say I KNOW I am now with someone I belong with.

I sincerely thank Lujan for all he has done for me. It was the best money I have ever spent and I will always be thankful for his impact on my life.

Jarret

Canada

~

After reading The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception, I discovered the opportunity to participate in Private Tuitions with Lujan. The 18 tuitions I participated in, (via Skype), were the most useful and life-changing discussions I have ever had (I am 64 years old). Each time we talked, his honest and clear perception of who I am…was both surprising and refreshing.

His syntax, in discussing his wisdom and knowledge…of the conditioning of cognition and perception that we live with daily, and the world of existence that is simultaneously here, beyond our normal perception…was so pure…and so precise…that I frequently found myself stunned into empty silence. It was very very lovely.

I will continue to re-read his book…and will go looking for another opportunity to learn from him in person… as soon as I can.
Roger, USA

Email: drrogue7@gmail.co

~

Don Lujan Matus has opened my eyes allowing me to see, quite clearly, who I really am and what has prevented me from being in touch with this person I so strongly yearned for since I was a child.

The moment I began to speak with don Lujan for the first time I became hypersensitive. My mind began to satiate with visual imagery and internal dialogue which I kept within for as long as I can remember.

My head was pounding as my consciousness was flooded with possible avenues that our conversation may have taken. It was as if something within was throwing all of my unresolved life’s experienced to the surface to be examined and dealt with.

Don Lujan then said to me, that through my voice he was going to journey within. In five minutes of our first parley he hit the source of much of my life’s insecurities. He so gently questioned my past and I began to converse with him concerning issues I thought I would take to the grave reticently.

The morning after our first meeting I stood outside and experienced a total freedom. Something was really gone, I felt within as if I was now free, free to experience the depth and non-linearity of being human. A strong imprint had been dissolved.

The way Don Lujan works is awe-inspiring. He is so gentle, so kind. He created a friendship with me. I could feel his caring. He allowed me to be totally liberated with him. In today’s world we cant always express ourselves, our truth, because of the consequences which may bear upon us. Don Lujan allowed me to be free from the impertinent views of society.

This positive backing I lacked throughout my childhood, even within the supposed security of my own home.

I had many questions concerning various aspects of my personal life, the path with heart, living like a warrior, etc. Questions I was never able to make sense of. Lujan was clear in his approach.

I learned to witness my own growth from a non-intrusive, non-judgmental perspective. The changes I witnessed during my association with Lujan have been profound. He has somehow pushed me into third gear.

And now I laugh. I laugh till tears roll down my face. A dark veil has been lifted from my consciousness. I feel love permeating through every inch of my being. And now, without restriction I will journey free, buoyant, to experience all of a mans lot.

And to understand this profound joy, a new lust for life, and to connect it to another mans time… … Words are not enough. There is nothing I could ever say, nothing I will ever do, that would truly show my powerful love and admiration for Don Lujan Matus.

You are clearing peoples burdens, healing the world, one person at a time. I think about how splendid it would be to fall asleep at night knowing this, I am flooded with joyful emotional, love. Thank You is not enough, for you I give all of my gratitude.

Desmond

Las Vegas

desmondbanner@cox.net

~

On the evening of May 22nd 2008 Lujan introduced me to a gazing technique he called Gateway Gazing.

The experience was to become the most profound and dramatic of the many gazing techniques Lujan taught me during my week in Bali.

The technique began innocently enough with a couple of plants . After going through several steps which resulted in the plants becoming luminous. Lujan caught me off guard and had me switch my gaze to a star that was approximately directly above the plants in our field of view.

This resulted in the plants that I was still watching out of my peripheral vision changing color in a manor that I can best describe as a very dramatic light show at a very good dance club. The plants appeared to be encased in a room with lights of every color imaginable flashing brightly and randomly.

At this point I was content to simply watch the spectacle in front of me however something even more profound happened as the star we were gazing at appeared to blink brightly several times then extinguish.

At this point Lujan became quite enthusiastic, I on the other hand reverted to using my rational mind which suddenly switched back on to explain the phenomena I had just witnessed.

Lujan, as usual a few steps ahead challenged me to look for the clouds I silently needed to complete my explanation with. Upon closer inspection of course there were no clouds in the vicinity of the now missing star.

What’s more the surrounding stars were still present and accounted for. After our usual (debriefing ) and several more attempt at finding the missing star which persisted the following 2 nights, I was forced to come to the conclusion that the star had indeed burned out in a most spectacular fashion before my very eyes. The ramifications of this event are and will likely continue to affect me in untold ways. Perhaps someday I will even find my now missing star.

Sincerely
Michael Walking Bear, USA

walkingbearmak@yahoo.com

~

Talking with Lujan Matus on skype has all the elements of observing a modern ballet. One participates within the parameters of enjoyment and admiration for such a high craft…for such a high craftsman…one becomes aware of self-imposed limitation by interacting with one who has transcended limitation.

The conversations are set pieces in a spontaneous collaboration of background and props as the music of one’s life. One becomes aware of the caricature that one embraces as a description of self…and the process away from this illusion is begun.

Lujan transmits a portal…a seed of a new way of being…carried on the sound vibrations of his voice. I found behind the pragmatic and honest response to my voice an intimacy I had never experienced before…he had presented my face to my self. The beginning of finding myself in everything.

I thoroughly recommend Lujan for the experience that is called tutoring…he is a craftsman of the recognition.

I await the moment to meet him in the form of person…the final act in my show

Chlorella

e-mail dhkdhk@ihug.co.nz


~

I remember one of my first encounters with the Nagual Lujan where he removed a very scary violent thumping shadow from me.

As he walked in the room in a friend’s house I was at, I felt immediately uncomfortable, as I had never been in the presence of such deep silence and someone so present. He was dressed immaculately in all black and was wearing a black hat and seemed to flow with grace and ease as he walked.

After a short time we went outside and were talking with some other friends when I turned and realized Lujan was gazing right through me, as when my eyes met his I realized I was witnessing void for the first time.

I lost sequential continuity for a little while and was grappling with complete silence and trying to keep any imprints from surfacing.

Afterward we moved inside where I began to feel increasingly more uncomfortable. Soon after noticing my discomfort something very disturbing in my chest started bubbling to the surface, which I tried to hide by sitting down on a couch facing away from Lujan.

Immediately he picked up on it and stood beside me putting his hand gently on my left shoulder asking, “Are you ok?” I replied yeah sheepishly lying. “Are you sure?” he said.

From then on everything started blurring and my sense of time and immediate environment started shifting and blurring very similar as described in Carlos Castaneda’s books. My whole body trembled and my ears fluttered and at one stage I felt like I was the body of a friend who was witnessing this looking back at myself, and myself at the same time, experiencing two energy bodies at once a very strange energetic displacement?

I also remember hearing a heavy whirlwind sound shudder the glass door of the house we were in.
This was extra - ordinary as soon after the glass door shuddered I witnessed the brightest electric blue/purple luminous balls I’ve ever seen hovering above Lujan’s left shoulder and as he turned to face me I saw a magnificent gold net coming from him that covered the good part of the whole room with each magical strand hovering with life and energy.

Through this whole blur of being shook up of foreign energy I remember Lujan’s voice guiding me and me listening as if it was my only lifeline. I really felt death that night as I’ve never felt it before my own fear brought up the thought that I might die right then and there.

After experiencing this my eyes were watery and I felt light and also that I had just been through an extreme physical work out.

It really felt like I’d received an amazing exorcism and that I’d been truly delivered to my heart center for the first time. Afterwards an immense clarity came over me and I felt so intensely happy and in this state I had a vision of emerging from a deathly black lake to green grass with an amber lit sunset in the distance with light thin clouds floating.

Looking back though I must say the deepest energy and perceptual shifts have come from you and or deep energetic practices and meditation. My time with Lujan snapped a lot of holding patterns and broke my experimenting with any drugs leaving me completely sober ever since (almost coming up to a decade now). For this I’m forever grateful, as I believed Lujan saved my life.

N.Lee

Melbourne

Australia

silent-1@hotmail.com

~

Like many of the practitioners and tuition students posting here, I found Lujan Matus’s web site via serendipity. I can’t remember my motives for cruising through the net that day I stumbled across the site, but once here, I was intrigued. Excerpts from the book gave descriptions that seemed to float up from a depth of silence that I’d never encountered before. I was shifted…and being so, knew I was in the presence of authenticity.

I engaged the forum and was met by genuine warriors who operated from a perspective of affection and purpose. Buying the book came shortly there-after. I now consider it one of the most sophisticated bodies of work revolving around warriorism that I’ve ever laid eyes on.

My subsequent tuition with Lujan has been pure magic. My expectations (there, regardless of whether they should have been or not) were simply blown away. All that was required was to bring the best of myself to the table with honesty and openness. That being done, and not without some initial reserve to be truthful, Lujan escorted me to essential compartments of myself almost immediately…allowing me access to massive progressive manipulations of this puzzle that faces us all…the puzzle of the self dreaming this dream that we dream. I’ve been introduced to “heart” perspective, and I know that I’ll never let it go!

Thank you Lujan. What a stroke of fortune…of power and Spirit…to have met you here in this exquisite place!

Chris Boyce

Birmingham, Alabama

glance_left@yahoo.com

Are we possessed through our possessions? Are we willing and capable at getting to the bottom and reveal the things we vehemently defend and guard - and if not, why not? What is it and how does it block us from ourselves?

When something is allowed to masquerade within us - it becomes us.Over time any distinction fuses in our minds and detection itself becomes the dilemma.As long as it remains there and we approach it intellectually, we reason and rally our defenses to defy truth itself in order to protect and even proliferate. This is nefarious, this is elusive, this is fixation.

This defiance, through which we boldly proclaim our individuality or independence, serves to buttress looping knots that merely reinforce and uphold a steel mask.What better defense than the labyrinth of the mind - brilliant if you ask me.

Believe me, I know, I just lived through the pain of facing fixation.I hid behind my defenses until I met the only man to see right through them.

And I was confronted with them by the Nagual.

The ease with which he slips behind them and reveals you is quite unnerving - nowhere to escape easily like can be done here.And believe me there is no hiding from the truth or running to mommy.
Letting go feels nothing short of a battle for your life, and some part of you dies along the way.

The choice is clear: release and free yourself of this parasite, or reinforce your battle lines and defend with all your might against the vulnerability that comes with accepting your own heart.

The choice though clear, is far from easy.Only when the incessant yammering of the mind wanes are the scales tipped which gives rise to the heart.Once there, dialogue interference is exposed for what it is - a farce.The heart knows this, and our intellectual posturing gets trumped by the revelations of our truth.

To claim otherwise, or to view and filter this process through the mind is simply holding on to manipulation.When we are manipulated in this way it may be hard to recognize, because that’s what interference does. But we feel it, and in silence it becomes undeniable.

Even if we can’t reach that place of silent reflection, it shows through our need to control and in our judgments.But our heart, our truth won’t accept interference, or allow us to interfere.When our heart opens it breaks and remains vulnerable, but the rotting carcass of manipulation eventually dissolves like smoke.

They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. But it sure as hell can burn to the ground in one when the gale force winds of the Nagual blow…

Howard, USA

Energy Tapping is very strenuous, very physical. It strengthens the whole body, especially the legs, which are very challenged, because of the daily practice. There is a close relationship of Iron Shirt Chi Kung and Tapping, but Iron Shirt is only one aspect of the diversity of Tapping and Tapping is using different methods.

I am experiencing an activation of energy raising in the vertical centre line of the body upwards out of the head and in curved lines in all directions down to the sexual center and the feet and from there on raising upward again by creating an electromagnetic field around the body.

The energetic centers of the body are fully charged and opened in this process, which resolves any emotional dis-balances and changes the consciousness. I experience a very silent and observational state of awareness which is sustained by the daily practice. The whole body feels very charged and vibrating. It feels like every single cell of the body starts to vibrate.

During the practice I feel how the body is absorbing energy through the the feet, the hands and the entire surface of the skin. During meditation techniques my state of consciousness is changing very quickly into a deep trance.

Usually I felt resistance and boredom. This made any meditation uncomfortable and ineffective.
This resistance is gone now and inner silence is accessible very easily.

When I am thinking now, I feel quite uncomfortable. I am rather beckoning. I am focusing and the answer comes without the usual process of mind chatter. Tapping is a real booster.

Dragon’s Tears are very beautiful and graceful movements which are changing my awareness immediately in a way, that I feel a deep trance and witness the movement of my body. It is unlike any other Chi Kung or Kung Fu practice I have ever studied in the past 7 years. It is fluid. I don’t mean it looks fluid. It is fluid. The form is formless and the hands are automatically manipulating electromagnetic energy by their own intelligence. Every day the practice is different, it looks similar, but feels very different.

I prefer to practice at night time in the darkness, because my trance is deeper and sometimes I can see a blue glow around my skin or flashlights between my hands.

I can not really tell what Dragon’s Tears is doing for me aside my feelings and perceptions during the practice. It is a redistribution of electromagnetic energy, but more than that. I would say it activates the seer within, but what I mean by that is indescribable for me.

The practice was a key to understand hidden secrets of chinese martial art, not because of the hidden martial applications in the movements, but because of a changed awareness, which makes accessible hidden truth and secrets in teachings, not even the teacher needs to know.

Dragon’s Tears awakens the intelligence of the body. This is inexplicable. Personal and impersonal. It is a key.
Dragon’s Tears is a mystery for me. Real magic.

Learning from Lujan is very joyful, pleasant and humorous. My awareness shifted permanently through his presence. It is 2 months ago now. Lujan is the most incredible being I ever met. He combines simplicity and magic.

The gazing techniques are very impressive, not only because of the telekinesis I witnessed. This guy doesn’t deter to control the wind! Unfortunately there were no stars left in between the frame of the window, which Lujan is using for his gazing techniques. I will try it on my own soon.

One night my awareness shifted enormously through a gazing technique combined with a meditation. I felt in between dreaming and waking. Light and shadow were intensive, cars appeared like monsters and everything was really alien, I wasn’t afraid, but very observing and detached. I was stoned through meditation.

Or like Lujan said:”Now you are fucked up, you will never be the same.” I can feel emptiness saturating my body ever-since.

This journey was the best decision of my life.

Richard, Germany

richard.nehmzow@gmail.com

~

I feel like every part of me has been put through the ringer and come out stronger; with the potential to access more energy as I continue to practice containing the leaks. Thank you Lujan; for your patience, your pure heart, your wisdom and for taking that stand for me. I came to Bali to bring light to the darkest shadows, and you enabled me to bear witness to that which I denied, which I had kept hidden within me; that which directed each of my interactions and clouded my heart - the controlling, and the many forms of manipulation. For that I am grateful.

The combination of the Tapping and Tears in the morning, the healing treatments and deep relaxations in the afternoons, and the gazing techniques and walks at night have transformed how I see the world, how I see myself in relation to others and as a result, the way I choose to behave.

After leaving Bali, the process of integration continues. I now have access to something deeper, clearer, and more pure. It is my responsibility and I am responsible. There are moments I feel completely insane as my internal chatter tries to take control and I continue to challenge these shadows. In those moments I have to remember to wait… and
to anchor myself in the stillness of my heart, for there-in lies the answer.

I am not what I thought I was. The world is not what I thought it was. And as if that wasn’t powerful enough, Lujan you then plucked a star from the sky.



Rachael

Melbourne, Australia

Bachelor of Applied Science (psychology)(hons), Adv dip yoga teaching, Grad cert yoga therapy, Registered with the YTTA (yoga teachers association of Australia)

rachael@yogawellness.com.au

www.yogawellness.com.au

~

It’s three months since I’ve arrived home from a visit to nagual Lujan. I can see beyond a shadow of a doubt now, my life before and after this visit. There was a particular moment while visiting Lujan that I almost lost his attention, caused by a surreptitious holding I, myself, would not let go.

“I’m not going to do this,” he said, and he moved to stand up from our sitting place. What he was going to do, or where he was going, I don’t know. But in that simple statement, I felt more fear than I’ve ever felt in any interaction with another human. Only physical danger comes close to matching the intensity of that moment.

I can’t even recall the words Lujan used next, to describe what I was doing, to explain to me what I knew was going on, but wouldn’t admit. I was in a tunnel, and my eyes were locked on the view outside the window. I was so paralyzed, I couldn’t even move my eyes!

After those painful moments — which I think to myself now as a literal birth process of a new me — I was able to move my body, but my voice simply would not express anything. As the moments continued and I regained my voice, Lujan was careful to point out to me how this shadow that covered the true me was regaining its control, as well. It was so obvious, I don’t know how I gave into it in the first place: ME, ME, ME! Control, control, control, of everyone and everything.

“How do you think it is that Mizpah can so quickly come up with interpretations? It’s because I leave her alone,” Lujan said as we discussed the control of the shadow’s mind. I had no idea what he meant then, when he said this; my shadow told me it was not a comfortable thing, leaving someone alone, that’s not what (I) should do. Yet now that this opening of thought has been created, and I have practiced “leaving others alone,” I easily can understand what he meant: Don’t engage in determining someone else’s thoughts; allow them the space to think freely.

In trying to explain what Lujan showed me, my first thought is: Over and Under.
The real me is “under” a shadow. It’s the shadow that fights to be presented first, last, and in-between. The real me has had very little practice at speaking, presenting itself; as a result, it’s painfully shy.

I went to Lujan in search of a physical relief of pain. What I received was a mental relief as well. Physically, something continues to grow through practiced discipline. My left eye is actually viewing something on its own, while the right eye continues to hold a view the physical world; a frozen rotater cuff in the shoulder is releasing its grip; I’m breathing with my entire torso; I can sense immediate reactions in different parts of my body to actions occuring in the world outside. The sky is not flat! I can view the distance between stars!

And I am intimately becoming familiar with how One draws to one’s Self that which is mirrored. I am immensely grateful for Lujan’s directness with me. For whatever it was that he pulled out of me, and we left it to die there on the floor, it has allowed an understanding that I still cannot voice, cannot put into words, but leaves my heart happy. Truly, a physical reality, like in dreams, that simply floats along its merry way.

With deep affection,

Sugrue, USA

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