Encounter with Nothing - Part 2
photo credit: stuckincustoms
Excerpt from the forthcoming book ‘Medicine Child’ by Ray Stewart.
The road twisted around another way and Lujan said we had to ride the long way to avoid being ticketed for not wearing helmets through the town. We followed the street back to a narrow path following an irrigation canal, which eventually led to an entrance. There were Hindu statues and related décor out front and a group of ducks sitting together where the canal passed by the entrance.
I was introduced to the property owner who seemed nice and was a Hindu priest. A small tense black dog barked defensively and was silenced as we passed.
Stone steps led by a small courtyard and there was a strange black bird with an orange beak in an ornamental cage atop an oriental stone lantern style statue base. It made a strange call and then paused silently observing us. I liked it very much.
Lujan said it was a gift he had given the priest, which protected the area from ill intentions. He said the priest would likely never have been able to afford this and deeply appreciated the gift, as it would have been appropriate for him to buy it on his own.
The house had a very nice stone trim around a wooden door with large potted plants out front in a line. There was a view looking off of the porch into the surrounding forest with a terraced pond, seeming as if the water dropped into nothingness off of this surface. I appreciated the detail in the grounds and structures.
There was another bird in a cage under the porch, which he said had stopped singing. I felt sad seeing it sitting quietly and I felt similar as if my song had been silenced. It was small and Lujan was caring for it until it’s voice returned.
Lujan watched as I scanned around and then invited me in. I noticed two protective statues placed to each side of the door marking a boundary and stepped through respectfully.
His house felt safe and comfortable and I liked that it was dark inside. It felt like protection from the elements, like the sense you get from an umbrella or a tree amidst a storm or scorching sun. I recognized the familiar smell of Nag Champa incense.
He went and got some water and sat down facing me from the corner. I sat a short distance away, but not too close, and he laughed. I told him I felt strange on the phone and that I could feel him seeing me, and he said he saw boxes as I concealed myself. I told him I had encountered a gecko after arriving in the room that called loudly and he smiled and said it was a good sign.
I gave him a small drawing of a child that I had drawn ten years before, from a story I had created, which had reminded me of him. It was dressed in blue with glowing blue eyes and a braid. Seeing him in person I was even more surprised how closely it resembled him. He seemed moved to receive this and smiled like a child.
I looked away and said something and he told me to look at him when I spoke, reminding me that there should always be eye contact when possible. I told him some personal things and almost cried and he said I should if I needed to, urging me to empty myself as I held back.
I felt the power of what he said, to be empty and free, and then a naked child ran by the window laughing carelessly. I gestured to this and he smiled saying this was Bali. I felt the magic of the place even more profoundly.
The child was synchronous with my feelings of moving freely without the binding burdens that concerned and subdued me, causing me to worry about myself and the manner in which I was viewed. I then felt peaceful and he revealed some things about me to be aware of and gave me advice on using my mother’s voice outwardly while keeping my father’s strength enduringly inside.
I showed him a ring and necklace my parents had given me, which I wore to remember their influence. He looked and said they were good, that my innocence had not been taken through the seemingly damaging events of my life and that within painful memories were gifts embedded.
I asked him what was going to happen in the years to come, what would the aliens do and other impossible questions, which I figured he could answer. He smiled almost mockingly and said he didn’t know. There was a pause and I laughed realizing my expectations and he laughed in a loud booming tone.
He added that when we don’t know we have to accept that. He then said what would happen was what was needed and he had no idea what that would be. I asked him some more questions, which I could already see the answer to, and he turned his head laughing loudly again. I smiled realizing I was using him to confirm things that I could see for myself and he told me not to put anyone on a pedestal and to trust my own seeing.
He asked if there was anything else and I said casually that I thought I was a nagual. I was very surprised I had said this and he replied I was who I was, whatever that may be and I told him I needed to know if this was a fact energetically. He said either way I had to know myself and I said that I was nagual then with surprised assurance.
I told him I had dreamed and been told I was a three prong nagual and he shifted how he was sitting and looked at me differently. I felt a pressuring sensation in my solar plexus region and knew he was seeing me. I told him I felt he was seeing me again and he said yes and told me that I had been given a challenge and if I didn’t follow through with it I would lose my power.
I said that I had come to see him to find what that was. Hearing this Lujan nodded and stared fixedly for a moment. I felt like I had in the dream when I had called him, I had been revealed and now felt I was with someone who reflected the direction of truth, in ways I had avoided accepting. The reality of what was presented was jolting and shattered the far-fetched fantasy I had always placed upon the notion of a shaman. There was an immense weight that felt lifted, but something inconceivably challenging on the horizon and I felt soothed by a profound sense of purpose.
