A Call to Awaken

This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship Program was submitted by Navi. If you would like to vote for Navi please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

My world stopped when I heard the word “cancer”. All reasons lost their meaning, all lies and excuses and illusions suddenly ceased to exist. I had been befallen by many strange health problems in the past year – all related to skin and lungs – and the final blow was being diagnosed in February with actinic keratosis. Skin cancer. At the age of twenty-three. This didn’t make sense, nothing made sense. I felt completely alone, broken, defeated and hopeless.

I’ll back up a bit and explain.

I’ve always been running from something. Tortured by family members with substance abuse and anger problems, shattered by physical/verbal/sexual abuse, having survived homelessness and food stamps, I was on a dead run. I never stopped to work through issues, never stopped to actually think and assess what’s been happening. I just escaped. I promised myself that I would never let such things happen to me again, and I ignored the dreams I would have. I ignored the omens and stopped listening to the music inside my head and tore myself away from nature. I just said that my life would be different and I believed it.

Well, I’m good at running. I moved across the ocean: new language, new name, new identity. But I kept getting accosted by shadows from the past. No matter how hard I fought, there were forces in this world far stronger than I. Cancer was my wake-up call. It’s not about the concept of “me” or my body or my mind. I’ve faced death more than once and am not afraid to move out of this three-dimensional plane one day. There’s just this feeling of not having finished something, having not completed my assignment in this lifetime. You see, for many years I’ve dreamed of starting a cancer treatment facility that offers both Eastern and Western medicine. I’ve always seen cancer as a call for wholeness of the spirit, a last desperate cry of the body to get the attention of the spirit. And now I know that I cannot heal others before I heal myself.

That’s where Lujan comes in.

I was talking to a friend about life-changing experiences and about the process of “awakening”. After I shared with him some prophetic dreams I’ve had and omens from nature I’ve followed, he related to me his dream about two cats which led him to Lujan’s workshop. He told of me his experiences with Dragon’s Tears and showed me a few of the movements. This was real. This was powerful on so many levels. I was mesmerized, absolutely fascinated. I’ve studied yoga, qi gong, aikido, reiki, and a variety of other energy-moving methods but have never seen something like this before. I read everything I could on the website and blog, and all of it somehow “clicked” with me. Something naturally drew me to Lujan’s wisdom and the secrets of raw shamanism and primal power.

I thirst for this ability as I do for water. I know that what I need to do involves work on different levels of consciousness, different planes of existence. But for me, books are a difficult guide. I get caught up in words and descriptions, I am uncertain of whom to trust. I’m through with studying myriad religions and spiritual practices. I now do the practices that work for me, I am living the truth that sustain me.

I’m ready for change. I crave practices that will free my consciousness of these tricks and patterns of the lower levels. I was obsessed with the Mayans, Incas, ancient Egyptians and Aztecs as a child. I longed to uncover the mysteries they knew and their raw, earthly connections – and I still have that yearning. I don’t want to sound self-absorbed or egoistical in wanting this scholarship, but I know that I cannot help or heal others, I cannot make profound change in this world unless I face my own demons and darkness first.

Thank you, Lujan Matus, for offering this opportunity.

——————-
Thank you again for giving someone the chance to participate in a workshop next year. That is VERY generous and kind.

With warm regards,
Navi

If you would like to vote for Jade please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

The photo is credited to Jade, a member of Stormclan.

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50 Comments
  1. This post found me and touched my heart.

  2. My vote is yes and now

  3. Good luck Jade <3

  4. This one goes to Navi. My vote is for you!

  5. The more difficult the struggle, the more precious the reward.

  6. Reading your essay in connection with your nick NAVI I automatically had to think of (the box of)Pandora.

    Much love and health to you, Navi.

  7. I vote for Navi. It really touches your heart when you know a person, full of joy, love, busy with so many things, interested in a lot of stuff and then you hear this diagnosis. Somehow I still cannot believe it…

    I hope there will be a way to heal yourself, from inside and with help from outside!

  8. My vote is for Navi. May this be the next phase of your journey.

  9. yes,
    for all the best,
    so you can truly be,
    the one to sing and dance,
    in light and harmony

    Heres to new beginnings!
    Enjoy. : )
    Charles

  10. You’re not done with this world. No doubt. No matter what.

  11. Healing others out of your own wounds.

    Navi, good luck.

  12. Vote for Navi! i wish u to be awake

  13. you are the impecable candidate navi

  14. you have gone trough so much i vote for you to heal navi

  15. let be light in your life navi my vote is for my friend ..Fabrizio

  16. your life experience is profound i wish you can find what you need in this life to become who you dreamed to be

  17. may your wishes come true

  18. Some people wander this earth with opportunity falling at there feet, but with eyes closed they do nothing but trip over it. It is clear that Navi is on the other side of that spectrum… she has a clear sense of purpose that if empowered, would be a gift to the world. I sincerely hope she is selected for the greater good of mankind.

  19. beautifully written! Thank you for sharing and best of luck!

  20. i never thought you would have gone trough so much hope that you embrace all you get to learn

  21. Such a great photo! The eyes of the cat are amazing!My vote is for Navi!

  22. your experience touched me deep good luck

  23. vote for navi

  24. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.

  25. We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing

  26. i want to vote for navi

  27. When one door closes another door opens

  28. i vote for you , because i think u deserve a chance to heel , i feel proud of your determination my vote is with you

  29. bless your heart

  30. this is an interesting blog my friends would love to read all this , specially your experience navi

  31. profound .. what an amazing journey , wish you the best my friend

  32. Hey navi just wanted to leave my comment to support you

  33. another vote for you

  34. may the wings of your heart spray to the infinite ..

  35. Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others im here support you
    navi

  36. just came by to see the blog Navi and of course to vote for you too

  37. You sound so inspiring i think you should go for this all the way ..
    god luck

  38. you have my vote too Navi

  39. precious i love the sincerity of your words it’s priceless

  40. go my friend fly fly

  41. I like how you express your words they touched me good luck reaching your dreams

  42. my vote is for Navi

  43. yes i vote for you

  44. follow the light , and become who you dream to be

  45. Many writers and poets have suffered a broken heart. Sometimes they have expressed it in beautiful and powerful words…im voting for you

  46. live in the present lauch yourselfe on every wave find eternity in each moment

  47. the best of luck !

    NAVI….IVAN backwards :)

    warmest wishes,
    Ivan.

  48. Best wishes and good luck navi

  49. vote for navi

  50. Awesome, thanks for sharing. Certainly assists in the co-cultivation of forwardness for all that seek to advance. Love the cats eyes :) Congratulations! :0)

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