This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship Program was submitted by Ilian. If you would like to vote for Ilian please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
Lujan’s books present in many ways the mystery that we are as human beings. All these are in stark contrast to the image of the world and of myself I have been raised with. These examples shook my image and were hard to believe first even more when I don’t dream such dreams. Yet I had an alien encounter dream shortly before I found about Lujan’s existence and I had several strange dreams – of my place of origin in the deep cosmos; of Lujan’s blue energy; as well as of Satan’s hand marks.
His second and third book had had the same effect on my world image, especially the practices that I had hard time to fathom, yet I tried. They as well as his words have shifted me too and what I feel is that there is another being inside of me deep that comprehends in totally different way than the being that was raised and taught to perceive in this modality of time.
In Lujan’s first book also there are personages presented with their mood and intentions. I feel each of them is a gift. They seem so strong and perfect and their intentions are so pure compared to the mood of distraction and intentions I have in my waking world that I easily recognized in the character of Nicholas. How intention is started and maintained and how my environment requires different kind of intentions was another area that shook me and filled me with sadness to think I have nothing in common with these strong warriors, etc., and that every human finds this wisdom in different stage of life and with different intentions developed. I was filled with what I have done and I had to pour it out and when I participated in the forum because I was drawn to it, I had most deep and shifting dreams and from the very beginning something reached me, it came together with songs. I participated in retreating and returning pattern. What finally reached me was my own heart, or maybe it’s better to say that I fell again to my heart and was capable to read with it, listen with it, write with it and speak from it. It felt alive and pulsating.
Returning to another world of people and routines felt like I was no longer human. Yet today the pattern of come and go had almost disappeared and I am where I have to be and hear again with my heart. Lujan had written it at the top on his forum. I marvel how much fluid and dynamic are his words and syntax. My expressions in comparison are like being nailed down – ‘this is what happened, what was and it had imprinted me and formed me forever…’
Going back to my own heart is where I overcome form and reach this fluidity and freedom. This is why I want to learn more, I can’t have enough.