This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship Program was submitted by David Winn. If you would like to vote for David please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
As a child, as I remember myself from the memories of youth. I always was very hyperactive and filled with simple joy and passion for life, that I lived through, because it emanated from me.
In some moment I can’t quite remember, when I was growing I forgot myself. I do not know why but it made me alot of moments sad, afterwards,
As my years passed I always felt that being positive is the right path. I had a smile on my face and was laughing almost all the time and many times these jokes did injured the hearts of others, but I did not realized. I was blind to the suffering of others and that, somewhere deeper,it made me anxious and weary and so did the cloak over the time permeated my heart, my very essence; heart to the level on which I lost reason to live, within my very much socially habitualized circumstances of the reality, which was only my so-called perception.
My life became pointless and everything stopped to bring me any joy continuously, everything was dull, gray and painful; I felt like a total shadow, but only of that of what I had to become.
Thinking deeply about what I really want and not that what I am or what felt as around me. It was like a fire that made me felt like warrior, like someone who has to immediately do something with his mind and body as I still believed that there will some kind of war and total destruction of the reality I knew and that what rules that world, I lived in. My life then gone to decent level and I regained appetite for life, learning about myself some things, yet there were still many moments when I felt not definitively as “I” would love to, until I came across the books of sorcery and at last in 2012 I found Lujan Matus’s profound and illuminating teachings of deeply understood nature of life, that struck me like lightning, pretty much.
At first, I did not understood even paragraph coherently, but the words were put there in way that made me really silent and listening, that there is something much bigger and much more dangerous and compromising in myself, than I ever believed, every time I loose my attention.
I felt scared and anxious most of the time, although it made me feel glad for Lujan taking this out into foreground of my mind as I felt it is truth on a level deeper than to what I tended to give my emotions and that upholded my heart, I took that challenge as a warrior and deep within that truth of silence Lujan gave to my pure child.
Over time I started to understand and see that star which is behind the meaning of those words; that knowledge. I learned to love myself and my circumstance over and over again, until I arrived at point in which I realized that, this all is a dream and how we are going to be is only within our capacity to trust to that ever-escaping feeling of arriving at our heart, as that is where I believe the way to any dream lies.
That makes me feel a tear that never fall from my eye, for the beauty and it’s endless potential and that the Heart of a Warrior is eternal, my notion and it’s motion was by Lujan’s all-loving, selfless intention set on a journey that drift forward my deepest dream by speed of lighting more and more by every droplet of time I pass through this waterfall – enchanting experience of Life and all the opportunities that are brought with that.
When dare to listen to depth, where we just fall and also passionately fly; silence of the Heart of Hearts.
As I touch with my feet, I feel the power of mother earth,
as I see, I wonder and witness the fluidity,
as my fingers touch my heart burns with tingling sensation.
as I am calm – deep within my heart the wind of silence takes me far away,
to once again witness beauty of the simplest unity,
the love that I wish to everyone by same,
when I look up to the sun I feel the essence.
I would love to participate in those learning programs, that are here so freely offered, even though they are invaluable, because I feel that my body would be very delighted by them, and my perception enlightened, as all I hear is love and ascension – the energy that they brings and just the words describing it are already creating something indescribable.
As we do, so do others, but as we feel so does the heart of mother earth.
Bless you all.