This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship Program was submitted by Jerome Miller. If you would like to vote for Jerome please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
I want to thank Lujan, for letting me know that I am not crazy. I have been hunted all my life by the shadows. I knew they were there. I tried to talk to others about my experiences but at best even the most spiritually knowledgeable would look upon my experiences as the musings of someone obsessed with phantoms. But most of all, what I have gotten from Lujan was a blueprint for how to survive and how to be of service to those I love.
My first experience with the paranormal was at the age of 5. I would wake up late at night to steal my sister’s milk. My mother would make her a hot bottle of milk and sugar and put her to bed. I asked my mother to make me the same bottle, but I was told that I was too old for a cup of milk before bed. In reality we were too poor. So, I would wake up, get out of bed, in hopes of getting her milk. But in the back of a long hallway, I would see the silhouette of a shadow. I remember being frozen with fear. One time I got up the nerve and went to steal her bottle. I drank it and returned to bed. I was terrorized by the fear. The next night, I wanted to repeat my pattern but there was that same old shadow.
The next day, I went to the back of the hall to see what could cast the shadow of a large but malformed man. I couldn’t figure out what could be causing the shadow. The next night, I got up to get my sisters milk. I remember staring for a good hour at that shadow. I was terrorized as it seemed to be alive. I never got the nerve to challenge my fear again. As a child I saw many unexplainable things. The world told me that what I was experiencing couldn’t be real. But the paranormal experiences didn’t end there, death was introduced into the equation. It was here that my education of spiritual matters took off.
I have almost died so many times. I have been lucky. On 9/11/2004, I stood outside the World Trade Center. I was grateful that the planes came early, because I had a meeting in the building just a few hours later. I stood there watching people jump from the building. I remember thinking, “If these buildings fall, I and the people standing next to me will be hurt”.
The police cordoned off a radius that was too small. I had a strong feeling that the building were going to fall. I started walking north to pick up my wife who immediately wanted to walk back to the Trade Center to help out. While explaining my feeling about why we should head north, the first building fell. I knew in my silence. The silence of watching so many people die. No judgment, just the reality of the moment. That would have been my fate if I had not listened to my inner self. That voice has saved my time and time again. It is this voice that Lujan has validated in a way that only warriors can understand..
So now, I see the shadow is about pain, misery and suffering. It induces addiction to drugs in some, but to money, sex and power in others. It changes form, using those you love to trap you and them. After burying countless relatives and friends, I have wondered why I not only survived (but thrived). The short answer is that I have tried to live as a warrior with honor. Sometimes I am successful while other times I fail dismally. I still try with all my might.
What Lujan has helped me to see is that I/we are doomed to a cycle of failure because of corrupted innocence. The patterned that has taken those that I have loved and mourned is laid out in the Shadow’s Hieroglyph. I and they have been caught in a loop of immature preoccupation which manifests as unquenchable unwholesome desire.
It’s a short way from there to compulsive behavior and obsessive thinking that culminates in death of the individual. So I thank Lujan for the glyph of the shadow, the problem. But most of all the gift of the solution, the glyph of light. Now I have a chance to be of service to my children, my community and all I come in contact with.