This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship Program was submitted by Javier Lujan. If you would like to vote for Javier please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
I am thankful for the lessons of Lujan Matus. To me they are manuals of war. Although it has been difficult for me to understand some of the lessons, I re-read them and try to apply the lessons to myself. They have helped me realize that I am fighting entities that can manipulate me to have unwanted emotional out-bursts.
I know that I have many imprints, and many that are self-sustaining. I know that these imprints need a great deal of work. I am learning to redirect my energy in ways which I never knew before. I am thankful for Lujan for all that he has put into words to help me fight this fight. It has not been easy and I don’t think it ever will be.
I am reluctant to apply some of the gazing techniques. When I do start a gazing technique, I begin to feel frustrated, so I stop my attempt. I will not quit. I will continue to find my way back to my heart, to my center.
Many years ago I had a very scary and violent dream. When I awoke from the dream, it took me awhile to catch my breath. At the end of this dream I had to fight someone and I thought I won. As I saw this person lying on the ground he began to laugh, and in a metallic sounding voice he said to me “you think you’ve won?” Since then my life became more difficult.
I have always wondered if they did something to me, or left something on me or in me. This is the reason I stay away from the forum. This is my reality and my responsibility. I don’t want to hurt or trick anyone. I have seen many things in my life time and Lujan is the only one who has ever mentioned these anomalies.
For the benefit of others, I would like to learn as many shamanic movements as possible. For all those who are out there going through the same struggles, don’t give up. “Be pure of heart and child like within your thoughts and the agenda of the beast will not transmute into the world of man.”
Lujan and his wife Mizpah have impacted my life with kindness. I also want to thank all the members of the forum, for the wisdom and kindness they share as well.
There is no way I can afford to travel half way around the world to attend the workshop in Germany; and I would not want to take away the opportunity from someone who can.