Dear Nagual Lujan,
Last summer I was in a great sorrow. I first thought it must be because of my persistent routines. After some efforts I found a bunch of hidden, self-damaging behaviours.
I detected that all of them were implemented in the age of about 18. I realized soon that it was a result of a profound conflict with my father. With all his authority he tried to break my will. I should be embedded obediently in the conventional social process. At that time I opposed against his conservative “black pedagogy”, which only aimed at unquestioning obedience. By all available means!
First I had some trouble to find the decisive event (there were some similar ones). When I discovered the unpleasant scene I was shocked to the core.
What I saw back then confused me, frightened me, and left behind those impacts I discovered some months ago. Weeks later I departed from my parents home.
At that time I hadn’t the ability to understand what I had seen. In my opinion I had freed myself from a long imprisonment and was happy about my acquired personal liberty. Yet I felt that somehow the conflicts had left marks.
Only recently, some weeks ago, I realized that I had seen a cruel SHADOW in his eyes. I have to admit that I still have difficulties to look at the decisive event. But I know I have to recapitulate it thoroughly to heal myself. Otherwise I am not able to resolve my persistent habits.
In “Fear Not, Be Free” from “The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception” you have written in an impressive way about fear and the process of implementation to the next generation, taught by Barak.
You also have detailed described a recapitulation technique.
May I ask you, if it’s appropriate to apply this technique to my past event?
With warmest regards,
Yes it is absolutely appropriate to apply this first recapitulation technique from The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception.
Then I would like you to apply the recapitulation technique that is in Awakening the Third Eye, in terms of the star-gazing.
Once you have done this I would like you to read the whole of Whisperings of the Dragon. You see, even though the techniques are sequential within the books, from one to the other, in reality they are last till first applied in comparison to one’s life.
I would also like you to consider that your father has given you a very rare gift – a source of reflective insight. You must realize he is not your enemy and that his tools of application upon your being, when you become humble and non-violent towards others, will bear many gifts.
You are where you were meant to be and you are right where you have landed in this present moment. Everything that has happened to us all contains wisdom. Only by being of service and thankful will you realize this.
Be gentle with your memories. Watch them disappear as you see them in others. For there are only two things that we can do in our life: reduce who we are and then contend with what we become aware of beyond that point. If we do not reduce ourselves we have to contend with that. So it is better we see the world as it is so as to take full responsibility for our position that we have acquired by being alive and vibrantly connected to everything that we have unwittingly and knowingly connected ourselves to.