With Gratitude for Lujan Matus’ Teachings

lujan-matus-teachingsThis application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship  was submitted by Russell Stamets. If you would like to offer your support for Russell please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

Whisperings is with me. Its essence percolates, simmering somewhere deep -behind my heart?

I partook of Lujan’s apple by way of peripheral intent, originally. On a conscious level, Shadows met the requirements for a narration project – well-written, existing audience, and intriguing enough to spend many hours with comfortably.

But then a vital chord was plucked.

As I read, voiced, edited, and listened again to Shadows, Awakenings, and Whisperings, a resonance became evident – the volume dialed up, or remembered?

If the clarity and contrast provided by having started so far away, where my path looped and circled at the whim of my unbridled internal dialogue – if the understanding of the staggering distance between my port of embarkation and the nearest intersection with my heart path toward seeing is a strength, then I am strong.

Before absorbing the remembrance Lujan’s words offer of the design of our universe, I lamented the lack of a Rosetta stone. Certainly, some truth lay shrouded in the trappings of many religions, especially eastern, and my training in astrophysics always felt true, as far as it goes, but the power and purpose of our organic human element is so blatantly omitted.

Traversing the eight gates, breathing through my bones, I feel the fit. The once-apparent gaps between scattered religious and scientific truths resolve, a connected structure appears across myriad layers and dimensions. And lo and behold, I’m here, in the center of it.

Of course, these are mere glimpses through intervening clouds of galactic dust. Most of the time, I still babble, internally and aloud, interfering with my beloved on her heart path, not seeing others and constantly, constantly self-validating – so annoying.

Besides the spiritual imperative of this pathfinding, I’m compelled to honor my physical vessel. Fifty years of toxic intake damaged my pancreas – the word diabetes still makes me cringe. A rarer, irreversible (from a western view) type.

I rejected lifetime insulin shots and looked east, and inside. In addition to the obvious greening and leaning and de-toxification required, I attempted self-surgery on my mind – anger and stress are inflammatory, requiring removal. While poking around in there, I discovered The Victim. He seemed consoling and comfortable, but I had to kick him out.

That was before finding Lujan. My prior stumblings in the dark make more sense now. I will continue. I will gaze. I will traverse the eight gates.

If I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to study with Lujan and learn to practice Lo Ban Pai – will I manage to weave and condense the cosmic flow? Can I heal and strengthen?

Can I change from the one stomping blindly down A path to an observer lightly discerning and treading THE path?

Russell Stamets


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  1. I hope you will!

    • Dear Ilian,
      Lujan’s invitation to connect with you is welcome. I have been unsure of how appropriate it is to follow up. Applying for this scholarship is an odd juxtaposition of self-promotion and the search for the way to see versus be seen. This could also be an excuse for my weakness. This community is palpably emanating care and support, yet for some reason I still lurk. I desire to be of service, but still have much to let go. Thank you again for your support. Your simple statement exemplifies what I need to learn, speaking to and from the heart.

  2. Oh wow I have been curious about the effect of the books on the person who did the voice work for the audiobooks. What good fortune already to arrive this way!

    • Dear Phi,
      Your reply to my application made me smile. My serendipitous path is a constant wonder to me. Lujan’s request to interact further allays my fears of exhibiting reckless self-validation, so I’ll offer more. I’m still flailing a little after my accidental entry to this amazing community. The combination of my shy, hermit-like tendencies and my too loud, often controlling discourse has so far kept me reluctant to speak, even to this warm, nothing-but-supportive collection of beings. I also feel like a bit of an impostor. On the one hand, I am honored to voice Lujan’s words and produce the audiobooks. But on the other, I’m a Johhny-come-lately. I have no years-long history as a warrior consciously seeking the path.
      I want to thank you again for reaching out.

  3. I wish you well,my friend.

    • Dear Phillip,
      In profound Lujan style, community members here support and teach with beautiful succinctness. Your simple statement was heard by my heart before my brain processed it. I was already smiling before I could think about the meaning of the words. The phrase “my friend” in particular is some kind of a heart touchpoint. It is used often. With me, it produces two very different feelings – one or the other – either an instant wariness, or a warm embrace. These reactions are immediate, not delayed by neural pathways.
      Yours produced the second variety, and I thank you for it.

  4. Thank you Ilian, Phi, and Phillip!
    I do feel lucky already to have found Lujan. There are certainly many like me who haven’t the means to study with Lujan. Iam happy for whoever is granted the opportunity.

  5. Your enthusiasm is a welcome charge. No need to question your whereabouts on the path. You’re on it. Tread forth.

    • Thank you Jerry!
      Doubt sometimes nags. But your kind gesture of support easily banishes it for the foreseeable.

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