This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Evelyn Maino. If you would like to offer your support for Evelyn please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
Note to Evelyn:
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Thank you very much for your lessons, for me they are inspiring, valuable and applicable.
After I completed the exercises (Third Eye…), which I found to be wonderfully specific, I waited with excitement for your last book (Whispering….). It seems to be to be the essence of your work.
Seeing through our social self and having tools to release our primal self. To some extent a difficult task. The drama of all our socialisation is written deep in me. I cannot remember my feelings in early childhood exactly; I cannot put them into words because I do not have any possibilities to express them verbally. I remember experiencing some smells – such as how people gave off a good or bad smell.
I believe every child experiences the first lie. Put briefly: if you’re good, you’ll get a present. If you’re bad, you’ll get a punishment. Religion took over this conditioning in the course of becoming an adult.
Remembering my parents, I feel the helpless child. I could not say them: “Stop, everything’s going really wrong here”. But I also had my own world that no one could access. When I lay in bed at night a zig-zag pattern appeared behind my closed eyes. I smoothed it in black. This velvety black wrapped me with softness and peace. The longing for my true self grew with me because otherwise I would not look for it.
Your book contains a lot of knowledge. It is difficult to understand it completely and even more difficult to integrate it. Therefore, what I have learnt is the beginning.
It is comforting when you say, “We only have one chance and it lasts our whole life”.
Last year, when I completed the exercises from the “Third Eye…”, which I found very easy to follow, I experienced the following: during a Zen retreat the exercise room turned into a sea of golden, sparkling light. My Zen teacher (very old) appeared as an ageless, timeless being wrapped in golden light. At another Zen teacher’s I saw blue lightning bolts shoot out of his eyes, simply breathtakingly beautiful. I experienced that only as inner clam and without any expectation at all.
I have already experienced inner silence through Zen training. Unfortunately this silence has not become my daily companion. The exercises in your book are for me important practicable tools. I have identified that conditioning my visual habits is the most difficult to change.
In my baggage I have the white tiger in the form of anger and resentfulness. Although I do not want to consciously harm any being, the inner evaluation of others is already not in my actual interest. Then I say to myself to avoid becoming desperate: it’ll be OK…embrace the shadow!
When I close my eyes, breathe softly and listen, my perception changes. There is no inside or outside, only space, no specific feeling, no thoughts. A gate to freedom! I practice the last seven Gates very often: Thank you!
For me luminous signposts are shapeless knowledge ahead of thoughts, listening to someone from inner silence without your own thought comments. Reserve in what I want to tell others. To be of service. Breaking the mirror of considering the ego.
For example, when I massage people and I am in inner silence, I receive nonverbal information about others and myself. Your words:
“Hands as light as feathers,” are for me like a body poem. I am still a long way from looking “as light as feathers”.
Now I would like to report on two recent events. I found myself in a garage and saw that a heavy girder wanted to fall out of a shelf, either onto a car or onto my feet. I had lots of time to step out of the way. Amazing!
The second event: I found myself on the railway platform of a small town waiting for a train. Two young men were standing not far from me. One of them said out loud, “I hate Turks”. Without thinking I said, “Stop that”. He repeated it. Without thinking I approached him. He gave me a small stick that he had had in his hand. I took the stick and approached him in Tai-Chi style. He went backwards, I went forwards. I heard how people who were sitting on the bench said, “Oh, martial arts”. Of course, this was not martial arts. It was the expression of my being. At the end of the railway platform I gave the stick back to the young man. We smiled and went back together. Amazing!
Now I would like to wish everyone good night.