This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Daniel James.
This year the scholarship includes a choice of either: attendance at the Dragon’s Tears Workshop in the Canary Islands from August 2nd-8th – or – participation on the online Transformational Healing and Meditation program.
If you would like to offer your support for Daniel please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
When I was a child I was extremely introverted. Playing alone, I often spent long swathes of time running through parallels of thought in my mind – dissecting and analyzing things, but also dreaming and imagining things, finding myself arriving at abstract places and scenarios that few others seemed to experience or be able to talk about with me. Stories about the unexplained and fantastical always fascinated me, and I sought in my imaginings to go to those places where I could be the ‘mystical hero’ archetype of my favorite books and games – the one whose personal power is so great that they are able to dive directly into the unknown in search of the answers and for the sake of the adventure itself.
Being extremely sensitive to the pain of the world and the undercurrent of conflict that seemed to plague all of the adults in my life, I withdrew into these fantasies, and as such never considered that urge within me to be anything more than a dream. Despite being encroached upon by anxieties and fears, I held on tightly to that feeling of freedom and mystery into my young adulthood, where I waded through conspiracy theories, abstract metaphysical belief systems, comic books, and a brief flirtation with psychedelics. At some point, I lost a fine line of separation between what I had always thought was my internal world and the shapes of the external world, which I had seen change right before my eyes.
I rejected the expectations of the social world, of my family, of the beliefs that I needed to be successful and go off and give my energy away to things that impinged upon my heart felt truth – that there was an impossible freedom completely available to me if I were just brave enough to take one step more beyond the comfort of my current awareness.
Dabbling in various esoteric philosophies and practices, I came to an understanding of what I had called ‘meta-belief’ at the time, where by taking on various frames of references and belief systems, that I could change myself and my interactions with the world. I likened this to how people used avatars or hindu gods to invoke the presence of a particular energy in their life, and went from there. I was introduced to the spiritual community of the American Society of Dowsers and had the most profoundly confusing and amazing experiences that shifted me even further.
All of that has lead to this point now; where Lujan and his books are recently new in the context of this life. I have only been exposed to the information for less than 10 months, but they have solidified the context in which all my explorations had been taking place, making an obscure and fleeting ‘feeling/understanding’ extremely lucid and stable; a point of reference to which I can return when I begin to feel too captivated by and pulled into the waking dream. I find myself growing into a life of radically different expectations and goals, ‘Waiting’ among the top influence and priority.
My desire to expand into and play with the external world in order to achieve material goals has waned and become more of a passive program that runs closer and closer to autopilot as time passes (and I do still feel like this is the beginning of my practice; by no means have I mastered what has been presented to me.) As I look to heal my physical body, I return to the practice of inverting my eyes, and I am beginning to feel distortions where I can infuse my intent to begin to realign them and call them back to center, which has a wonderful byproduct of releasing tension/strain.
This is where I feel that a physical experience learning movement patterns with Lujan Matus would catalyze me in an irrevocable way. I am looking to end the cycle of illusion and awakening that I often find myself repeating, and I want to do this at the body level. Always an experiential learner, I do not want to conceptualize these ideas any longer. I want to directly feel and experience what I Am, and what Is.
Thank you, Lujan.
~ Daniel James