Shamanic Transformation

shamanic-rebirth

This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship  was submitted by Millie Letori. 

This year the scholarship includes a choice of either: attendance at the Dragon’s Tears Workshop in the Canary Islands from August 2nd-8th – or – participation on the online Transformational Healing and Meditation program.

If you would like to offer your support for Millie  please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

I have only just come into contact with the work of Lujan Matus. I was introduced to me by my acupuncturist, who has previously studied with Lujan. He felt compelled to tell me about Lujan almost immediately upon meeting me. We had begun to talk about what had bought me to seek acupuncture. As with all life stories, it’s long but short story, complex yet really very simple. I intend to share some of this with you to provide the background as to why I would like to undertake tuition with Lujan.

Five years ago I was a stressed mid thirties woman, working in a corporate job. I was empty. My life consisted of the emotional pallet of frustration, anger, anxiety, fear and despair. A small voice inside me began to get louder. It knew how I lived was not right and knew something had to be done. Little did I realize at the time that my soul was literally being starved. So, I started to see an oriental kinesiologist. She started me on a journey of waking up my soul. I got the message I needed more yin. Until that point, femininity wasn’t even a concept I considered?

There was no place for the feminine in my life. I worked hard. I looked after my three boys. There was not time to receiving, no time for sitting around waiting for things to evolve – pah how silly. But yet it hurt so much it eventually rang true. About 6 months later I started going to meditation classes. I started to awaken to my soul. I became aware of a whole other part of me that had been forgotten. Imagine, a whole piece of your life buried, no – banished.

Our teacher started to talk about shamanism. She took us on some guided shamanic journey’s. I loved it. Something deep in the base of my skull was triggered. The mere mention of the word ‘shamanic’ made me smile and feel alive. Then the fateful date came, 21/12/2012. For some reason that morning I felt compelled to walk out to the cliffs near where I live. I stood on the end of those cliffs and held my arms open wide. I opened my heart for the first time in a long time, and I asked for the awakening to happen. From that moment on, my life has been different. Not in a dramatic way, but in a subtle, slow burn way. I realized shortly after, that I had to study shamanism.

I have had a shamanic death and rebirth. It was the most frightening event to ever happen to me. Three days and three nights of panic attacks. I lost the ability to speak. I lost control of my life. The biggest fear I had, realized. I lost control, but the universe and great spirit gained control. I realize that was always the way, but I was living in the illusion that I “had this”. Exhausting stuff. I went on a vision quest shortly after and received a striking vision of myself stood atop the ridge of the valley – arms spread open with the full moon shining out of my heart. I was gifted the name Moon Heart.

Then, I met my acupuncturist as I was dealing with the physical effects of the death and rebirth. The moment he mentioned the name Lujan Matus, my heart took an extra beat and I knew, again it was deep inside the base of my skull, that I had to study with him. I immediately went online and started reading. There was a knowing and an awakening to a life that goes far beyond the controlled, ordered, 3D space in which I operate most of the time. This both terrified me and delighted me.

The information that Lujan shared seems to make sense to me on the deepest of levels. The practice of gazing and recapitulation has liberated me from many past ties, freeing up more energy for me to move forward in my shamanic practice. The journeys and interactions with non ordinary reality which were once fuzzy and heavily intuitive, are now clearer, and multisensory. I am so excited to deepen into this work. I have been guided to work with breath and physical movement to release stories, energies, blocks and move into transformation. I feel that studying the movement work with Lujan will be a big piece of this puzzle for me.

The reason I asking for a scholarship is that my husband as lost his job and we are currently relying on my salary. I have had quite some medical bills as a result of the illness and recovery during my death and rebirth. We have 3 sons and my salary is spread very thin. This has all been a very key part of my journey, but precludes me from paying to study with Lujan right now.

Millie Letori

shamanic-rebirth

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8 Comments
  1. Millie, heartfelt good wishes for you in your quest.

    Love Angelika

  2. Dearest Moon Heart,
    I love your story of awakening. Thank you for sharing your surrender to your feminine essence. Beautiful.

    Love, Georgina

  3. Good luck to you Moon Heart

    Love Larissa

  4. Good luck to you Moon Heart

    Love Larissa

  5. Good journey Moon Heart.

  6. Moon Heart … the name says so much.

    May your path be always lit from the soft but bright light of your heart ;-).

  7. Moon Heart, how nice. Your name and text reminds me of a beautiful german poem, here is a translation i found for the third stanza. Good luck!

    Behold the moon – and wonder
    why half of her stands yonder,
    yet she is round and fair.
    We follow empty visions
    and artisans’ ambitions
    because our minds are unaware.

    http://myweb.dal.ca/waue/Trans/Claudius-Abendlied-Bertram.html

  8. Despite your trials and the fear you’ve suffered, there’s a fearlessness that runs through your account. I’m inspired by your quest. Thanks.

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