Controlled Folly: The Not-Doings of Knowing and Doing


This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship  was submitted by Steve Pattersson. 

This year the scholarship includes a choice of either: attendance at the Dragon’s Tears Workshop in the Canary Islands from August 2nd-8th – or – participation on the online Transformational Healing and Meditation program.

If you would like to offer your support for Steve  please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.


I humbly submit the following in hopes of receiving teaching from Lujan Matus–one who has already taught me so much and has had a profound impact on myself and those around me.

I woke up in a hospital not sure how I had arrived—though I suspected it was the result of years of hard living. I was told that I was close to organ shutdown.

As perplexing as it was, I felt as if I had been in some other place and in some deep conversation. The message was that I needed to re-examine all that I believed, and to start with myself.

I began following the path of the Shaman, and had purified myself by letting go of alcohol, meat, and dairy. The intention was to unravel the confines and controlling mechanisms that had buried deep my connection with myself on both a physical and spiritual level.

In the two years that followed I became aware of Lujan Matus and The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception. Upon reading his work, I quickly realized a new approach that was both profound and inspirational.

I had found a teacher that I knew I would probably never meet in person but whom had taught me more through written words than anyone else by any other means. Now, a year after reading other of Lujan’s books, I find myself striving to heal others as part of a program that uses various holistic approaches to assist service members and their families in finding their own healing of war trauma.

Lujan’s teaching of knowing and doing is the bedrock on which I am building a heightened awareness, and every session I attend I find myself falling back on those teachings. Particularly when it comes to the layers of societal expectations, and how to look inward to being their own healing.

“The deceptive premise of a pre-programed lifestyle, is perhaps the biggest hurdle in assisting people to find their inner-silence to reintroduce themselves to their heart-of-hearts. The pre-programing has nothing to do with our primal self, and everything to do with our inner silence being redirected into channels of a throwaway, mechanized, society.” Lujan Matus

On these warriors’ paths, they are taught to ‘rub some dirt on it’, or ‘handle it like a man’. I have even heard solders seeking help use phrases like “I am not a princess, but ….” The two approaches are a part of that pre-programming, and only a princess would not be able to rub dirt on it like a ‘real man’.

Upon being aware of the pre-programming an empowered individual begins to see things a bit differently.

“On your life path you traverse your experiences, and there is nothing you can really do beyond that. You have to know how to proceed with these events instead of a pre-formatted society prompting you to a state of knowing and doing.”

While knowing and doing are easy enough to understand, it takes a bit more to illustrate not doing. It is in the not doing that the doing of healing can begin within oneself.

I am not as prolific and eloquent as some in my writing, and likewise the words of Lujan often can lead to confusion as the writing stirs the depths of my soul. However, it is in that thought, the resonance and stirring, that I continue to learn far beyond the end of a chapter, and I would be grateful if selected to spend time with Lujan, even if it is over Skype because

I feel he is with me at all times. To be able to bring Lujan’s teachings into my personal and professional healing would be beyond value. It has already shaped me in many ways, and his words will continue to do so as I continue down my life path.

Steve Pattersson

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  1. Well put Steve. Anyone who can turn around their lives from the brink as you have described, already has abundance in character to BE the change. I wish you well in your endeavors.

  2. Thank you Julie Ann,

    I have had a lot of help from those around me in holding space while undergoing transformation, but it has happened, and continues to happen. I held a round table discussion on pre-monotheistic Northern Europe, specifically on the Germanic tribes that became the Scandinavian people, last evening and was not sure if I was prepared to lead the group. So, I just let it happen, and the floor was open most of the time with people exchanging ideas. When I would speak, I often found that I was using examples and metaphors that I had read in Lujan’s books to clearly illustrate my point. In the end, everyone had a very fulfilling evening of just being present, listening to others, and getting far more out of the event that “just a discussion”.

    While I have said “I” a lot in this post, it is more for a frame of reference as to who or what I am describing from last evening. In reality, at these round tables that I host, I never have a chronological memory of what was said, or specific reason something became presented, but instead was in the moment and, absent the intention to impress anything upon another, it just was. In reality, the only thing that I did was nothing, but there was plenty of teaching to be had via observation by an open mind free of internal dialog.

  3. Thanks Steve. It is easy to drift into the mystical, pondering profound teachings when they are meant to be put to use in the good old here and now. It seems you’ve started that real journey and I wish you well in pursuing your heart’s expression. Keeping an eye on the social programming is an important aspect that you’ve elucidated well. Vote.

  4. Steve, this is a powerful testimony of both your intent to forge a new path and the force of Lujan’s teachings. You have a very strong voice. I’m glad you found Lujan’s books and I truly hope you have an opportunity to talk or meet with him in person. He has the ability to initiate profound shifts in an individual. He sees the unseen. Good luck, Steve.

  5. Thank you, Steve, for sharing your journey’s story. It is the here-and-now where we need to turn things back to going forward instead of looping it over and over again. Suddenly, the here-and-now is no longer boring!

    Love the essay. Concise and precise; my favorite kind of thing.

  6. The pre-programing has nothing to do with our primal self, and everything to do with our inner silence being redirected into channels of a throwaway, mechanized, society.” —- Simply brilliant and IMO NOT like other so-called Shaman who would be over the top is `getting back to your primal self’ – the self and silence is there all along … but as Lujan states is re-directed into a lower state of awareness and being.

    Best of luck to you in reaching others with ideas promoted by Lujan Matus

  7. You express yourself as a leader fully engaged in the welfare of others. As Sugrue noted, concise and precise. In terms of sheer impact, at this moment I think your potential as a student to materialize Lujan’s influence, would be hard to beat. Very inspiring.

    Thanks, Jerry

  8. Dearest Steve,
    I appreciate the courage you have to embark on a journey of rediscovering your primal self. Even more so, that you also want to help others heal and step beyond their programming into silence, listening and not-doing. Perhaps this will be the path for the new soldier?
    Love, Georgina

  9. I woke up this morning.

    I was suddenly reminded of the following quote from Lujan Matus in Whispers of the Dragon this morning as I headed over to turn on the tea water. While he is not referring specifically maintaining inner silence here, he illustrated what it can be hard given the man-made, pre-constructed, nature of our lives.

    “You have probably already talked to yourself about it first, thus it has become scripted. When this script formulates, you move into a state of knowing and doing. Though it may seem self-empowering, it is far from it. The lessons of your life path are trivialized by that exchange. This gesture of knowing and doing cannot be absorbed as one’s true experience. It is only a false power or influence upon your environment.

    This way of being is connected to self-importance and validation by its very nature. The essential information becomes split and scripted and is traveled upon as a forked tongue thus bypassing your inner silence into habitual narratives… .

    The forked tongue has divorced us from our silence. Knowing and doing are complete within themselves in providing a limited, pre-programed, believe system that is applied as circular dogmas. Though these doctrines appear to be all encompassing, they are laden with the dominating principal of self-importance. This creates the illusion of desire and need. …

    This domineering principle is used to control underlings, or persons deemed incapable of going beyond the confines of the limited ideologies that have been provided for their diminished state of conscious; which has been purposefully cultivated in the first place. “

    So, before you can have a silent field, you must uproot a garden full of imposed entangling roots that will trip you as a constant reminder that you are leaving the “limited, pre-programed, believe systems that have been layer upon you since your birth.

    The more you can do this, strive for inner silence, the more clarity with which you see the world.

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