Warrior Child

warrior-child

This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship  was submitted by Judith Kaufman. 

This year the scholarship includes a choice of either: attendance at the Dragon’s Tears Workshop in the Canary Islands from August 2nd-8th – or – participation on the online Transformational Healing and Meditation program.

If you would like to offer your support for Judith please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

In the last few months I have discovered the works of Lujan Matus. At first I listened to Shadows In the Twilight a narrated book written by Lujan and Bill Ham. Then in quick succession I’ve read three other of Lujan’s books the last being Whisperings of The Dragon.

While reading this book, I began reflecting on my childhood and who I was as a child. As I reflected on the child that I was the same questions appeared as they have always. I remembered that I was an only child full of imagination and curiosity about life and death. I had two imaginary friends, a boy and a girl who I conversed with constantly. When I didn’t get answers from the adults in my life I turned to my two companions.

Many of my questions concerned death and what happened after death. If I saw a dead animal in the road, or a dead bird in the yard, I’d pick the neighbors flowers to place on the bodies of these fallen creatures. I worried about the welfare of my grandmother and shadowed her every move. If she went outside to hang clothes on the line I followed her there as her protector. If she stood on a chair to dust the top of the bookcase, I held on to her legs, to keep her from falling.

When the time came to attend elementary school, my concerns followed me there. This curiosity about life and most importantly death coming from a six year old did not win any gold stars with my teachers.

In first grade, I told my teacher that a classmate was sick. I remember the look of alarm on the teacher’s face. I was “shushed” and then hurriedly ushered back to my desk. As I sat at my desk, the “protector” in me knew I had to make the teacher know the severity of this little friend ‘s illness. So, again I appeared at the teacher’s desk and said, “She’s dying.” A look of utter disbelief came across the teachers face.

I was made to sit on a piece of art paper on the classroom floor. I remember the floor was dark wood and smelled of oil that the janitor used for cleaning.

I was often made to sit on the “vanilla” paper on the floor of my classroom during that school year. I kept this a secret from family, as it was so humiliating to sit like that, but I really didn’t understand what I was doing that was wrong.

During summer break after my first year at school, my mother opened the newspaper and showed me an obituary announcement for my first grade classmate’s sudden death from a cancer.

By the end of the second grade, I’d made headway into being a normal student, although I was constantly monitored by the teacher and given stern looks to be quiet and sit down, the underlying message was you can’t ask or talk about those things that you are curious about.

Now in my profession as a hypnotherapist, I explain to my clients that during the first 6 to 7 years of a child’s life their minds are in a hypnotic state. These are the years when the programming begins. I liken the child’s mind to that of a computer which is being downloaded with parental and societal software.

As I read Lujan’s work I realized that over all these centuries of time, these ancient techniques of clearing the mind have been available to only a few and now would be open to all, or at least many. I was excited and appreciative of this knowledge coming my way, a true opening for my path to awareness and transformative growth.

First, I adjusted my eyes, then begin working on hearing what I couldn’t hear, I was making headway, but found myself at a loss when I tried to incorporate these new skills into my work.

I reflected on my former teachers and mentors realizing that what I most admired in the best of them was that quiet calm presence, that depth of knowledge that is “power” and I wanted that for myself and for my clients.

As I continued to test my skills, having this knowledge available to me was eye opening and overwhelming. I likened it to possibly being as close to an out of body experience, as anything else that I could recall.

Some years in the past, I’d had a spontaneous out of body experience, which I will never forget as it was my first. I was floating above a shopping center enveloped in nothing more than curiosity. I could see everything, hear everything and I knew the reason I was there was to get close to a store window. I floated down to the store window and admired the object I’d come to see, a quilt for a baby. As soon as, I’d found what I came for I was back at my house looking through the window seeing my body there in bed.

The thought came to me, “opps” I’d better get back in there, or they might think I’m dead. So, my question is this, “what if this is what it feels like to be dead. ” How else do you describe this ability to see what you can’t see, hear what you can’t hear and feel what you can’t touch? Who is really doing this, I ask? My Spirit? My soul?

It would be a magical experience to study with this man of ancient knowledge, Lujan Matus, who writes these life changing beautiful books that have the power to bring us back to who we really are, and to the lives we are meant to “be”.

Thank you for this opportunity to express my thoughts on “Whisperings of the Dragon” and the impact it has had on my life.

Judith Kaufman

warrior-shaman-child

 

 

 

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4 Comments
  1. I like this essay very much. Your recounting of your childhood is touching without being sentimental. And it seems you have never allowed yourself to lose complete contact with that sensitive child, carrying her with you into your life’s work. How fortunate you are. Best of luck to you, Judith.

  2. Dear Judith,
    What a beautiful account of your childhood and your gifts. And, how sad that adults lose that magic somewhere along the way. It sounds like you have been able to keep that part of yourself alive. I hope your journey into silence will give you the answers you seek.
    Love, Georgina

  3. I know that look of adults. I got it as a young boy when I told my parents about my lucid dreams. I was scared, no one could help me, just the look. As a result, I decided to be a “normal” kid and forbid myself to dream from that point. That worked… I lost contact to that boy and sealed myself off. I am now struggling to be whole again.
    This brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for your essay and good luck!

  4. I’m especially drawn to tales of service. Yours is special. Keep at that first gate. Remember the silence component. It’s different than death. More like the ‘quiet calm presence’ you honor.

    Thanks for such a beautiful account.

    Jerry

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