Hi Dear Lujan
I have a question that’s not related to your teachings. I hope it’s ok with you.
I was just wondering if you are familiar with the feeling or knowing – ‘dying while living’. Right now it’s the closest explanation that I can find to describe what I have been feeling for the past 2 years.
It is a strange sensation, there is no ‘fear’ and of course it would seems more appropriate to a ‘metaphorical sense’ however it does feels real, like I am grieving my own ‘death and lost’ … i know it sounds weird.
Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated, and if not – Thank you anyway.
What you have written is such a personal affair. For you have said everything because you understand what you are going through. But when what you have written is read by another, it doesn’t pinpoint what you are actually experiencing in terms of the big picture.
The only way to make words have meaning is to give them a context so the reader can travel upon them. It is all the small things that paint the mosaic of one’s life.
There is nothing much more I can say to this, apart from the concept of using your death as an adviser. This experience can be a good thing but the question is – what are you really grieving and why has it lingered so long?
Focusing on death can be an indulgence in terms of what is feeding the emotion you are experiencing. Or it could be liberation via killing anything habitual that binds to the edifice of the current times in terms of the eddy that is carrying most of humanity in its social form.
When you listen to what you can’t hear and look at what you can’t see- (a technique described in Whisperings of the Dragon) – you then will be delivered to inner silence via the fact that the mind becomes void of itself. This can also be considered using one’s death as an adviser because you have slain your worst enemy; the inner dialogue.
It is when we see that there is nothing to be acquired and everything to be gained through being empty within that we find what can’t be discovered. Within this reservoir of emptiness, magic appears.
I hope that you reveal more of what is happening with you under this blog post so that we can more understand the nuances of your current reality.