“Lo Ban Pai was last taught in the time of the Yellow Emperor.”
I have just finished the five day program learning Golden Lotus with the Nagual Lujan Matus. In merely five days my body is completely different on so many levels and dimensions. It is hard to bring into mental context the multi-faceted changes to ‘being’ that this week has brought me.
I first heard of Lujan and his work a few years ago from a close friend who had been studying with him. She described the energy field around our body and how the ‘coiling’ movements of this training move in golden ratio spirals and interact with our own energy field. “Its probably what we should be doing.” She said. I was completely taken by this simple concept. Moving in spirals… Everything else does. Why shouldn’t we join the party?
In the weeks that approached my training with Lujan, my personal life turned into a cascade of drama in my personal relationships, home life, work life, financial outlook, personal study and even my general ability to focus was being shaken. I knew that this was no coincidence. I was acutely aware of the fact that going to Siem Reap to train with Lujan was exactly what I needed most in this time of my life, though I couldn’t really place understanding on the reason why. I just felt I was traveling to be with a teacher who could help me ‘see’ myself.
I arrived in Siem Reap three days before training began and got used to the town and checked out the temples. During this time, I was in touch with a few close friends who I was having some pretty distressful breakdowns with. These breakdowns were very very alarming for me. The night before training I felt like I had totally lost the four people closest to me in life. I felt like no one liked me. I felt as if the only solution in life was to just be alone in order not to risk making people upset with me anymore. I truly had a ‘dark night of the soul’, the night before meeting Lujan. I felt like there was a void inside me, that needed to be filled by the love an acceptance of a beloved. I felt cast out, unloved, and entirely alone. I was totally out of balance.
The next morning I came into some important realizations explaining how I set up all of the dramas in my current life situation. As I walked to meet Lujan and another student I experienced a cascade of insight that allowed me to take ownership for all the pain I was currently going through in life. A huge weight lifted from my shoulders as I no longer blamed the people I loved for the pain I was in.
Lujan looked entirely unlike what I expected as he greeted us and promptly invited us to follow him to his nearby residence. As I walked behind him, my body went into fight or flight mode. I didn’t really know what to ‘think’ but my body certainly was in a panic! A walked behind Lujan and as I looked at his back I felt my body lag behind him in some kind of almost magnetic resistance. Just before reaching Lujan’s residence, he turned to me and said something along the lines of, “You’re not going to be a problem are you?”
I’d just met the guy. How the hell do you answer a question like that? I think I managed to stutter out, “I hope not.” As we entered the elevator and the doors shut, my body entered into a primal state of fight or flight that was very intense to say the least. I felt completely spotted and cornered. I realized I was in the presence of someone who could ‘see’ me entirely because his body simply read my energy field as if it were a giant bill board.
As soon as we got into Lujan’s training space he launched into a complete breakdown of all my deeply hidden negative emotions and control dramas. I was completely dumb founded. He hardly asked me any questions. It appeared he knew more about me than me. He knew the nasty root emotions behind my actions. He was making it painfully obvious why I had set up issues for myself my entire life. He showed me how I block myself with my own sense of identity, smartness and self importance. I was in shock. My face started to ache in a way I was not accustomed to. Over the next 20 minutes, astonished, I realized my jaw was re-aligning. I knew I was in the right place. I knew this painful, embarrassing exposure to myself was exactly what I needed. I was in the presence of a real teacher. Lujan’s steady and serious gaze showed me that I had never crossed paths with anyone remotely like him. Yet the entire scene had an uncanny sense of familiarity to it.
As the days passed we learnt the spiraling form of Golden Lotus. As I watched Lujan perform the series I was overcome by a some transformative feelings; My consciousness dropped out of my head and down into my body to a stillness, an emptiness. I knew I was in exactly the right place. I knew these movements were what I needed in my life. I had a familiar sense of ‘home’ pervading my body. I was so astonished. I asked Lujan “How do you get time to do anything else?” And I totally meant it. When you experience these forms, you simply don’t feel you need to do anything else. This training is what I have needed to open myself to myself and the new life ahead of me.
In between physical training we relaxed and chatted about all kinds of interesting mostly health related topics. I was growing more aware that Lujan’s contribution to the conversation was coming from his extremely aware body consciousness as opposed to the ‘mind’. I became vastly more comfortable as I realized that when Lujan was intense with me, he was entirely reflecting my own intensity back to me. It wasn’t him. He was showing me myself and that was uncomfortable but so sorely needed! He told me that my issues were really simple and that I didn’t need to analyze anything, but just to let it all go. I did. I let a lot of things go and training in the Golden Lotus form transported me further into a place of peaceful emptiness.
In between training with Lujan, my mind’s eye was saturated with feelings and visions of him doing the forms. The spiraling flows and four dimensional weaving tapestries were being trained into my body consciousness every moment of this week and this is not going to stop. Around the third day of training I realized Lujan was the most impressive athlete I had ever witnessed. And he is not what our mainstream society would call a ‘young man.’
“You’re going to stop aging.” He said.
I know he is right.
I have been searching for this my whole life. I am certain that I will continue to train, practice and work with Lujan as often as I can. Lujan’s teachings have made many things I once believed in, peacefully obsolete.
Consider yourself extremely fortunate if you are aware of the teachings of the Nagual Lujan Matus. Consider yourself exponentially more fortunate if you are one of his students.