I came upon this post – Scientists Discover Another Reason Not To Eat Meat and Dairy – at a time when I feel I’m going deeper within body-knowledge, which I’m slowly coming to understand cannot be separated from self-knowledge.
I’m in the middle of a 12-week detox program with Mizpah Matus, eating largely raw foods and consuming specific cleansing herbs during the entire process. One of the wonderful advantages of doing a detox with Mizpah is that she is always available through email to answer questions or to just listen.
In thinking about my last few emails to Mizpah, a couple of things surfaced. In the beginning, I mostly discussed how my body was feeling and symptoms I was experiencing, but recently I began noticing a change in my “mental” outlook. I mentioned to Mizpah that I felt differently in some of my interactions with a close family member, a family member whom I’ve struggled with at times. The feelings were subtle but I found myself being more open, lingering in the moment and in kindness instead of anticipating what I wanted to say, becoming more aware of my own role and neither denying nor promoting that role.
So when I read Lujan’s comment that “Kindness and compassion are not obtained through practicing kindness, compassion and understanding,” I was at first taken aback. But when he notes “one cannot change by trying to change…within the same paradigm,” it began to make sense.
How do I connect this to the cleansing program?
The changes taking place with this detox are occurring not on some superficial level but within the various and deep physical systems of my body that naturally work together in an intricate synergistic dance. This physical change, this dance–the body speaking—influences all the “pieces” that make up “me.” This process is then expressed on different levels and finally and simultaneously onto the outer world.
Perhaps, in addition, one needs a sincerity of heart to make this happen. I’m not sure. But for me, the duality of the mind/body has become more and more blurred, and I begin to “see” the oneness, not on an intellectual level but in a place of knowing. My interactions with others begin to arise from a more authentic place, a place I can’t pinpoint, a place that doesn’t exist, and the more I’m aware of this opening, the more I’m aware of its non-existence.
This is a change for me as I’ve never been that self-aware of my body. I’ve always tended to live “in my head.” So this grounding, this growing awareness of the body and how intricately it’s bound within spirit is new for me. It’s very gradual, not so much an “ah-hah” moment as something that has occurred very organically and slowly, the way true knowledge has always unfolded for me.
One other thing I noticed was that in re-reading my own emails to Mizpah, I sometimes had the sense that I was trying to validate my experiences. There is always the risk that when we share our positive experiences and insights we may come off as sounding self-aggrandizing. Perhaps that’s what I do even here, but as Henk noted in one thread “If we all rationalized the futility of writing there would be no blog.” I can say from my heart that whatever I write here, I do so knowing full well how many doubts and weaknesses I still struggle with.
Phi, Luma, Sugrue, your posts are always a joy to read, and to the many who share on this blog, many thanks for your insights and contributions. And of course, to Lujan and Mizpah, always my deep gratitude.