Testimonial – Dragon’s Tears Workshop in the Tibetan Dzogchen Center
What have you done to me? What have you done to us all? It is not a question; it is a statement because I feel that is time to give you the real feedback of what Tenerife means to me.
So many things happened and so they are washed away by the time that seems like a year. Almost 2 months since I met you and since I have received your gift of power and love. Throughout these weeks that passed, watching the transformation within my body and my life, I reached the conclusion that what was given to me during my encounter with the Nagual, is far more precious than the exercises we call Dragon’s Tears. Yet I have no words to thank Lo Ban and you for the gift to us all, because I do understand why this set is so intense and fulfilling, or maybe I am just starting to understand the depths that lie before me. I am still in tears when I do it.
Before Tenerife I was wondering why do I need to see you, and now I understand, as I was told that I needed to see a living manifestation of what we call compassion. We call it compassion because we do not understand it (me included), so without other word to describe it…we call it compassion. Compassion is not only love, it is much more than that, but you know what I am talking about, so just let me express my poor understanding of something that has just entered into my life, once I met not only you, but ALL of you.
I felt the “Gesture of the Spirit” many times in my life, but it was not really clear what it was. You made it very clear, as I was imbued over and over again by the presence of it, while we were at the workshop. Nevertheless, the connection set there, never ceases to be present every time I close my eyes and I see yours.
I will be honest with you. I need that connection; I need your eyes to remember. I need your eyes to remember my love; the feeling of home and connection with something bigger than me. I need to remember, because every day there are so many moments when I forget, when my mind is fucking with me and the programs are taking over. Fortunately, I have a warning system now, and when the feeling is gone, I sit and remember you, and what comes through you.
Even now I have tears in my eyes as I write this and I do know that, what I received as your gesture to me needs to be shared, so I write forward.
A deeper understanding of love installed into me step by step since I left Tenerife. I realized that only in the vulnerability of an open heart you can really see the one in front of you, and since you are in his/her heart, you realize that you are no longer the most important person, nor him/her, since there is in fact nothing about us. It is about the connection and what you can do.
I am quieter since there is less and less about “me” and more about what I can feel an offer. If I enter in a room and my heart does not find alignment, I am silent or leave. If I am not leaving; the rest is about “me” or the “I” of the people in the room. I got this from you. I do not know how some phrases you said in Tenerife were “burned” into me, and little by little I felt compelled to act upon them.
My main work now is to remember what I was given and to give the same gesture to people I encounter. It is a draconic task, since everything around me is diverting me, but there is good news as well. Maybe it is from the Dragon’s Tears, maybe is from the acknowledgements I have made, maybe is from the vibration that changed, maybe is from all of them together, but overall I have more clarity, more peace and understanding.
Before I met the Nagual Lujan, it was so hard to do the “Mirror”. It was an exercise done in the past from a position of mind. It was hard and my mind hates it. I have done it before Tenerife and it helped me a lot but it was not natural. Now it is natural, and it is really helping me and whoever decides to do it, because it really allows us to see with our hearts. The empty force in my heart is my discovery. Ling Kong Jing is cutting through the veils and the darkness of the night, but is a gentle cut, done with love and fortitude. Gentle and firm.
The truth is that all my life was challenged since I left you, although I do not feel any moment apart from you. It is a daily challenge with all the people around me, and there is only one conclusion up to this point…There is no conclusion since there is nothing.
I only feel that it is time to make a better version of me, and I am working on that every day.
Please do not feel intruded by my daily attempts to connect to you. I really need to see your eyes in order to remember. If I do not remember that love, all is lost.