Sitting at the feet of a nagual




I find myself sitting at the feet of a nagual. This path I have found myself on is slowly being revealed and I am in awe. The rational mind toys with the possibilities. What if this man before me is a magician, a conjurer with his hypnotic music and his reading of micro gestures?

But I feel at home. I feel deeply loved. I sit as a wide eyed child and I want to cry because I can’t stay here forever. I watch him cut through the programmed responses and I lift myself up. I am better than this. I look back and say, I can’t believe I said that to you. I apologize. “I don’t do guilt”, he says.

The Lo Ban Pai movements flow into me and I watch him with my eyes and he says “your body wants this”. My body does. I follow his hands and feel the flow but my mind is not taking it in, in a conscious way. I get frustrated with myself when I can’t keep up. I stop, but then I start again and I know I will get it. He told me I will get it and I believe him.

Then I practice in my room. Simple movements, and after I finish I sit and I rock gently with the spinning around me. My hands feel a resistance inside the air, I feel a solid ball between my hands. So many shifts in my body. I wake with butterflies in my heart. Sometimes there’s pressure at the top of my head. Can I feel my lower dantien moving? Sometimes.

There is a feeling in my throat as we sit talking. I need to speak my truth, I already know that. “Stop gossiping”, he says, “and stop gossiping about yourself”. This is me putting myself down. I am more than this.

He tells the truth about the world, and I know, but I don’t want to hear. In my world everything is just nice. The things people are capable of scare me and I don’t want to listen. Waking up is not easy. No more compromises. I need to allow the things that resonate at a lower frequency to fall away now. I need to walk away. This makes me cry. I grieve for those I will leave behind.

And now a start to prepare for my last day. I know there will be more tears. Whatever I take home will be enough for me, for now. I will take home the smile, the sharing of jokes and the laughing at silly things. The memory of his laugh will make me so happy when I am home. And as the movements increase my gravity, I will see more truth. The joy in me will rise and spill over into my world. Challenges will come and push on me and I will push back with gentle non doing allowing the old to dissolve and the new to appear.

Thank you,

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  1. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  2. Kelly, thank you for sharing.

    You remind me of the deeply personal nature of the experience of learning and practice, and how one gets what one needs.
    All the best as you transform.

  3. Thank you Henk

  4. Beautifully rendered. That grief you mention is biting. I struggle to figure that out everyday. And I haven’t even taken the training yet. It’s on my horizon though. Gifts such as yours move me closer every day. Thank you, Kelly. Jerry

  5. so beautiful, thank you!

Mystic Shamanism: Latest Blog Posts

Enhance Your Personal Power

Spiral Energetics - also known as Lo Ban Pai - is an ancient esoteric system of spiritual development that has been hidden for centuries.

It consists of a combination of dynamic and meditative movements that promote energy cultivation.

Spiral Energetics will help you:

• Increase your energy
• Improve muscle strength and flexibility
• Overcome chronic health conditions
• Cultivate personal power
• Awaken heart consciousness
• Open your third eye
• Access heightened states of awareness

It is the only known surviving ‘coiling system’ following the golden ratio spiral principles of the Tao as recently rediscovered by quantum physics. Read more