Testimonial – Dragon’s Tears Workshop in the Tibetan Dzogchen Center
I have actually started writing my feedback in my mind while attending the workshop, so much I was in such a hurry to understand what was happening to me and receive some answers… Much later, while listening to your books, I understood that answers come along the life path, if one needs them. Some might have already been revealed and some are still to be answered, while others might never be. One can only be patient and accept.
I am glad I didn’t say anything back then, because it would have been a waste of your time. I see things now from a different perspective, while constantly receiving answers and confirmations out of nowhere, while reading or listening to your books, practicing, while listening to your interview or watching the Cosmic Giggle. Still, most of the answers, came during our Skype sessions, although they were not immediately seen or received as answers.
I am constantly discovering myself since the Dragon’s Tears workshop in Tenerife. Many things have happened and my ability to see them with detachment has been and is constantly challenged. I have started to recognize feelings and emotions that do not belong to me and began detaching from them; and I realize that this is only the very beginning. The most difficult part relates to my interaction with friends and colleagues who are reaching for validation, as they are accustomed. Those are the most difficult moments, to remain detached and not follow the social conventions, falling once again into programming.
I would like to share some experiences, memories and personal thoughts with you, not really following a timeline. I am not expecting answers; I realize I will receive them, in case I will need them.
I had many revelations while practicing the exercises, for which I haven’t found yet the meaning but felt and continue to feel very grateful: I had the privilege to see you as a being of light, while the others were thin spirals reaching to the sealing; I had a strange sense of familiarity with four other participants; I experienced an intense feeling of happiness and nostalgia, at the same time, as I realized that we, as humanity, are far from the true concept of community and sharing with an open heart.
I still remember what you told me in the middle of the course about finding myself, realizing who I am and that afterwards everything would be fine. I am sure I will come to a full realization some time in the future.
The transformation process has already started back then, I began sensing some participants’ hidden intentions, entities around me back at the villa where we were living. At the same time, channels were opening up on my back, in my hands, in my feet…
I was waking up in the middle of the night with the strong feeling that someone was staring at me and when I shared this experience with our friends at the villa they reacted as if they were already aware of some “presences” that visited us. I felt quite unsafe and uncomfortable, but managed to continue thanks to the energy and magnetism I was getting while attending the course and practicing the movements. I am a million time grateful for what you have given to me, to all of us, so much love and light that guides me ever since.
Months later, while listening to your book “Shadows in the Twilight”, I understood that I was right to feel afraid and that those entities were actually fed by the negative emotions attached by all of us. As a parenthesis, things were not great in the villa my husband and I shared with 7 other people; there was a lot of tension, discussions and energy loss. I didn’t realize that we were all bringing this “rubbish” to the course before your dialogue with the two ladies.
I want to take this opportunity and ask for your forgiveness, I didn’t have the courage to speak about it out loud, and at the same time I felt I didn’t have the right to reveal others’ inability to open up and force confessions that were not mine. At a later stage you offered the most precious example of communication one might ever receive: speaking with the truth, with love, with no strings attached, aiming at solving any problem in a peaceful manner. I was speechless and I bet I wasn’t the only one! I can only hope to manage to communicate one day the way you did.
In your book “Whisperings of the Dragon” you refer to the fact that a circumstance can be spoken to only once in time, when it occurs and you express this with the phrase “the gun has only one bullet”. I am not sure I fully understand the concept behind it, although it is very clear that what happens in one moment in time is a result of specific circumstances and that the people involved reacted/behaved in accordance.
In both cases described previously, I was not fully aware of the information I was receiving as I was going through these experiences, so had really nothing, no bullet and no gun. I was overwhelmed by emotions attached to feelings I was not able to understand. It is shocking to acknowledge how vulnerable we are, unaware of what is truly happening around us, “food” for initiated and shadows, just like dogs with collars.
This realization reinforces one more time the need to develop the ability to know, see and not do, that you describe in your book. Easier to say than actually put in practice, but I believe I will get there one day.
Thank you for your teachings, Lujan, thank you for teaching me how to bring love, peace and quietude into my life, on the path to rediscover my true self.