Lujan was showing us one of many movements during the Lo Ban Pai introductory course Awakening the Energy Body. In typical impromptu fashion Lujan walked from the front of class and stood in front of me to demonstrate a practical application of the movement being taught. I threw a slow punch as requested and as it was parried I saw a blurry circular motion.
Then I felt a very big wave of something rise up over me.The wave felt like exactly when I was a teenager at the beach playing in the waves.
We would be standing in knee deep water due to the receding water that preceded the next wave waiting for the fun of playing in it. As the water was knee deep we were confident in being able to withstand the next wave. The next wave would slowly arrive and rise up faster and faster until it came over us with no time to run away. The “fun” would be in trying to remaining standing. Ahh, teenage logic at its best. Many times there would be such a massive wall of water coming over us we would crumble under its weight.
Well this is how my body reacted to the very quiet feeling of movement I felt rise up from where Lujan was standing to the left of me. In an instant the feeling became bigger and bigger until it washed over me.
I collapsed in on myself and sank to the ground very quietly and softly as the wave of emptiness washed over me. Because the collapsing movement felt just like playing in the waves I automatically didn’t resist and waited to reach the ground so I could find my footing. I did watch myself with great surprise however as there was no water yet I was reacting as if playing on the beach.
I tried to see where this mysterious wave was and noticed a silverness move through the area I occupied and move on. I notice the black clothed leg and arm of Lujan on my left as normal but the odd thing is beyond is a milky white wall and a glowing silver floor from me to the wall. When I looked down to find my bearings I noticed my body was at the end of its collapse and my hands were reaching for the ground. I then got up without having felt any sort of knock, bonk, or impact.
I really feel the wave of emptiness existed there in that room and what I noticed was the part of myself that exists in a more refined space interacting with Lujan’s teachings.
During the beginning of the course we were going over strength exercises. The one at the moment involved hopping up and down using only the lower legs. After a demo by Lujan we all joined in and started moving in slow circles.
I glanced back as I was turning around and saw a classmate near the other wall. Between him and myself was a black clothed figure hopping away from me on a glowing white floor. He was shrinking as he moved away and looked smaller than my classmate even though he was between us. After laughing I blinked and the floor was back to its normal color and Lujan back to normal size.
I’m shorter than Lujan by a couple of inches. When we stand in horse stance even after I lower myself to his height sometimes he’s like shrunken somehow and still lower in some way. When a movement is made, especially a vigorous one, he’ll appear bigger as if he came closer but his feet haven’t moved. I find the movements to be really impressive and mysterious that way. Come to think of it when I was practicing outside one evening I noticed my shadow on the wall cast by the street light. As I was watching that shadow of me move on the wall it looked like it belonged to a taller and denser version of me.
Frequently when we are sitting still and Lujan is speaking I have to remember to not try to hard to visually focus on him because it’s as if someone is adjusting the focus on a movie projector but he’s not going in and out of focus but moving somehow in and out of the space I see him in.
What I mean is I visually feel the figure in front of me moving further away or conversely expanding somehow in place. Sometimes at the same time I feel myself moving through a more expansive space then the one I normally feel I inwardly exist in.
I know these are very visual descriptions. Perhaps dry in feeling. But for me these descriptions are visually the love I feel for a wonderful freedom I feel in associating with Lujan. It’s odd, but when I feel love for Lujan I really feel a whole lotta love for myself, more than I usually let myself feel.