I had two weeks with Lujan ahead of me – one week of Awakening the Energy Body and one week of the Windlock System. I had been looking forward to the tuition, but two days before my trip I had started to become a bit nervous.
What was going to unfold?
How would I behave?
I knew I had changed, but have I, really? I could just enjoy Christmas markets with my family instead…
When I arrived at Lujan’s place he did not waste any time and addressed me as soon as I sat down. Lujan told me that there still was darkness inside of me and that I had not conquered my inner dialogue yet. He said I have not totally forgiven myself – nor others. And how can I forgive others, if I cannot forgive myself?
“You can’t change the past. But you can forgive yourself and do the right thing here and now.”
Click. His words became a feeling of truth inside me.
He reminded me of what I had done and what happened when I had been with him a year earlier and that I needed to stop behavior like that. He was very gentle and very serious at the same time. Then – I gave in.
I aligned. I was silent inside, listening to his voice, totally relaxed and very awake. No chatter inside, no tricks, no traps, no doubts. Lujan talked and I observed.
At some point he did a gesture with his right hand. I followed the gesture with my eyes and then focused on his face again, plunging into his left eye. My vision changed. Everything was kind of black and white, a little blurred and Lujan himself looked quite different also. He morphed into what I thought was some kind of ancient Asian warrior.
“Now something has changed.” Lujan said and I confirmed. I was totally at peace and very aware of my energy centers in my chest and my lower abdomen. It was all good.
Lujan later explained that with his gesture he had pulled the darkness out of me and put it inside of him. Feelings of guilt and from my childhood, my family and my nation that was put on me. He watched those feelings the following night, until they were gone.
I was very surprised. Surprised that this was even possible and that he had done this for me. Was this not supposed to be my duty, to observe such feelings? What a marvelous gift!
I am now much lighter. Not so moody, happier. I cheered up. The heavy rucksack I had carried around all my life is gone. There is less fear: fear of uncertainty and no control. I cannot put into words my gratitude for what Lujan did. I think the best way to show gratitude is to stay that way and don’t get compromised. Stay aligned and walk the talk.
On one occasion, when Lujan was speaking, the lights in the room reacted strangely – or so I thought. I believed that Lujan did something with his energy that made the lights flicker. But they have not been flickering at all. The occurrence was more similar to a flash of an old camera, where some powder was lit and the light then spread out with just a little delay. That was what I experienced, and although the flash was right there in front of me, I instantly blamed the lights on the ceiling.
Lujan said that we are all light bearers and that the beam had come out of his third eye. He had no clue how and why, it just happened. It was his first time to experience this. It did happen again two more times that day, each one with a lesser intensity than the one before.
I had many realizations during the two weeks. For instance, on one day Lujan talked a lot about how real communication should be and how feelings of others are observed within oneself. During that conversation we actually shared feelings and body sensations and also an image of a memory between us.
“Now, if this is not living proof for what I am talking about”, Lujan laughed. “This is the way communication always should be.”
From that moment on I totally understood how little children are conditioned and influenced when growing up. I now understand how and why the feelings arise inside them and how they then identify with it.
The movements Lujan taught this time were kind of different to the other Spiral Energetics I had learned before. You could confuse them with physical exercises at first, but the inner alchemy Lujan brought into focus was unbelievably profound, practical and magical.
Rejuvenation is only one aspect of it. Many movements dealt with the rotation and awareness of the lower dantien and accessing gravity. Lujan emphasized that Windlock and Awakening the Empty Force are the two most important sets of his system.
“All I do is because of this.”
Lujan’s teachings are very individual and depend on the ability or needs of each student. He for instance would see a realization inside of you and directly react to it and show you a movement that fits or boosts that realization. Therefore the forms or movements taught are never quite the same for every student.
Everyone gets what he needs. A little exception are the workshops with a bigger group of students, where the forms are kind of standardized for many people. But when you see Lujan in a private tuition afterwards, it may very well be that he alters your movements in a certain way, adds something or draws your attention to something that has not been on your list before. It is not static, it constantly changes.
At the end of the two weeks Lujan spoke to my “reasonable doubt” that had come up, especially when certain aspects of our society and mankind in general were revealed. I kind of knew he was very serious and totally telling the absolute truth – and I kind of rejected it with an inner “Come on, for real now?” voice. I could not help it, this negative program would tune in when certain aspects where on the table. I saw the program too, knew it was there – but it was very strong nonetheless.
“Can you not find me within you?” Lujan asked me. He pulled me out of my feelings of doubt by drawing my attention to my kids. My care and love for them silenced the program step by step, and this continued further when I returned home.
Believe without believing.
Thank you so much Lujan. I feel blessed. And thank you Mizpah for your valuable input and insights on the diet topic. My deepest gratitude.
You guys are wonderful. Much love.