About 3 months ago, Lujan introduced me to the magical movements of Walking the Tao. I immediately experienced a natural resonance with this aspect of the Lo Ban Pai practice, but I was not as quick at realising consciously how deeply I was integrating and growing with it. I literally had to ‘lose sight’ of my doing to realise the not-doing that is evoked and delivered by this beautiful practice. I was noticing very clearly how the practice was affecting me and transforming me every morning.
However, the actual conscious realisation of what was really happening only occurred to me when Lujan asked me how I was faring with it. It was surprising to find myself unable to ‘remember’ exactly what aspect of the practice he was referring to when he talked about ‘Walking the Tao’. I asked him to prompt me. He did and an uncontrollable grin beamed its way on my face, followed by a “Ah, I see! You mean that part of the practice when all the super groovy stuff happens!”
The very first realisation was about Lujan’s mastery in teaching me Walking the Tao. This rested in the fact that he seamlessly tailored this teaching (including the subsequent and much-needed prompt) to my specific energetic requirements so that I would organically incorporate it as a natural aspect of my morning Awakening of the Energy Body practice. The specific movements of Walking the Tao have a profound effect on my consciousness by quickly dropping me into a deep trance state. Their ‘roundedness’ makes my body move by its own volition at a flow and speed, which seem to differ every time and yet, they feel always exactly and perfectly aligned within each given moment.
Within that, I am very aware of the fact that I have no awareness of time and space at all and as mentioned above, I literally loose my sight. My eyes go out-of-focus as if I am looking out at the room around me through very thick glass and from a far-away place inside, but I am not concerned at all. As my blurry eyes watch my body move, various body parts shrink or morph. My moving hands, for example, often appear as if I am looking at them moving just under the surface of the water, where straight lines break into wavy contours.
Other times, their movements appear fractalized as if broken in time lapses and what I see is a sequence of images of my moving hands like in one of those slow motion reels from the 30’s. Sometime, different parts of my body disappear all together (temporarily, that is!) and their original space becomes occupied by the blackness of the void and at times, bright glimpses of blue luminosities materialize around me. I always end up smiling when these happen and at times, I cry with a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for this practice.
Over the last week, something new about these experiences has made itself available to me – the movements from Walking the Tao are the “cursory glances from within” that Lujan’s discusses in Whisperings of the Dragon. These movements open the first Dragon Gate. Every morning as I do my practice, I am automatically transported across the threshold of that gate and my eyes are effortlessly re-focused internally. Within that no-time, no-space that Walking the Tao opens, I am regularly flooded with extremely clear and precise insights about affairs of my ‘everyday’ life that I need to attend to. These often demand action – I say ‘demand’ because the clarity of this deep knowing leaves me with no alternative but to follow thru. And I do.
Some are exciting insights about what needs to be shared in the context of my work, for example. Others require me to speak to situations or relationships where clarity and even change are called for. I have found myself confronted with the sharpness of my words, the destabilising sense of sadness and fear of “loosing” people that I care for. And while this is happening, I have sensed in me a growing unwillingness to compromise my heart for the judgements and projections of a socialised self but at the same time, a detachment towards the stories that unfold in front of my eyes. For the first time, for example, I have felt a true sense of compassion toward myself and others – can I allow myself the freedom to just be as I am?
Can I let others be whatever they choose to be and let them play whatever story they want to play, if so they choose?
To me, this is the most ‘challenging’ aspect of the practice. And yet because of this practice, I am now starting to see more and more clearly the repetitive, often dysfunctional nature of the conditioned patterns controlling the vast majority of my interactions and relationships. How can I un-see what is now in plain sight?
The question is rhetorical, of course – I want to see. I want to see and follow the truth of my heart with as much kindness and integrity I can open up myself to. And Lujan, you were right (as always!), I had no clue what preciousness you were gifting me with when I came to visit you a few months ago. As I begin to see with the clarity of my blurry eyes, my gratitude to you, myself and life itself deepens.
With so much Love,