This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Ryan Lee. If you would like to offer your support for Ryan please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
Lujan Matus is a master gardener. He sees the beauty of a mature tree in the potentiality of the seedling, cultivating every aspect of its growth into maturity. The scholarship opportunity initiated a stirring of energy, a stream of consciousness that began to try to explain what has taken place within my awareness from that point at which we first connected. What Lujan has offered to me can not be forgotten, only repressed temporarily. Time is irrelevant to him. A tree does not hurry to grow. It expands as it’s nature intends, as it’s potential unfolds.
Part of me wants to impress those who read this letter, and to win in some sort of competition to be in the presence of that master gardener. Lujan is that other awareness now traveling with me that knows that any and all who write to him are deserving of the teachings he offers. He is that awareness that knows authenticity is the sacred quality in any communication, and the awareness that the only true winning is one in which nothing needs to be taken from one to be given to another. He is that gap that gives pause to the stream of mind when I need validation from others, and also the discipline to chip away at the weight of this embedded conditioning.
Lujan is the inexplicable desire to go directly into my fear and not away from it, and the pressure that builds in my chest when I hunt my fears. He is that love that takes many faces and many forms. The love that reaches into my dreams and waking reality to remind me that everything is ok and all is as it should be just when I need to hear it the most. Lujan is the courage building within me to turn a blind eye to the schizophrenic pressures of society no matter how close they may appear to be and what form they may take. This courage looks toward the inherent nature and potential within. Lujan is the growl of Jaguar that appears everywhere but can not be seen.
I feel I could never give back to him at the level that I have received, and I do not have the words to describe the gratitude that comes from that deficit. I can not explain what Lujan’s teachings have done for me because the only tool I have is vastly inadequate to accomplish this task. I am only a seed.