Life is a mystery, a wonder beyond words…

silence-losing-self-importance

This application for the  Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Edward Bassingthwaighte. If you would like to offer your support for Edward please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know why I’m doing it. In those precious moments when I’m actually embedded in a self-reflective silence, this is my experience. I am a twig, swept spiraling along the flooding streams of this multidimensional, fractal river of life, exactly where I need to be, and naturally serving the circumstance I find myself within. I say things that surprise myself, deep to the bones. How did I know what to say?

I didn’t… Because as soon as I think that I know what to say, or what to do, I’m lost to myself, lost to the situation, lost to the subtle grace of eternity.

These are still rare moments, yet I can see that they are getting stronger, more enduring, and happen more often. Most of the time, I’m catching myself thinking – and then I’m lost to the truth of this ineffable moment, flailing about, entangled in my self-importance, and enmeshed in the social milieu.

Since meeting Lujan Matus (firstly through the impact of his writings, and then in person to learn the Golden Lotus series last year), my life has been turned upside down in the most amazing ways. I can see so much more of the unhealthy social dances that humanity indulges in, and I’m slowly getting better at meeting this in integrity, sometimes even with a small measure of grace.

I’ve had some utterly inexplicable and wonderful experiences while practicing Lo Ban Pai that have left me completely disrupted from my continuum, standing there with a happy grin of disbelief on my face. I’ve been left wondering “How on earth?” as these experiences of multidimensionality are so far outside what used to be my reality. I’m not going to speak directly of these experiences, not until next I’m face to face with Lujan, in private, not to anyone, not even to my wife, my beloved. These wonders are too precious to be lost to an unhealthy need for social validation.

I don’t need to ‘win’ this scholarship to learn the golden lotus series to a deeper level. I don’t even have any desire to do so. I know that any time I wish to have my life positively impacted with the magnetic force of Lujan’s teachings, all I need to do is to support a state of primal awareness as best I am able, and to pick up and read one of his books. Every time I do, I can feel the force of Lujan’s magnetism, I am a different person afterwards. It is palpable. I know that if I was never to meet Lujan in the flesh again in this life, then that’s ok too. Life will take me where it leads me, and that is where I will need to be!

At the same time, I know that to spend any time with Lujan in person is a precious gift, and will impact my life beneficially in so many ways that I simply can’t comprehend. I’d welcome the opportunity to run smack-bang head-first into my self-importance and social self again, no matter how uncomfortable that may be.

Lujan will see clearly who is the one who best serves the circumstances by ‘winning’ this scholarship. So here I am, writing an application that isn’t an application, supporting a state of self-reflective inner silence as best I’m able – noticing when that bicycle wobbles, then doing my best to regain my balance by returning to anchoring my gaze 98% within, and my auditory sense 100% outwardly, listening intently to that which cannot be perceived.

Often I fall off this bicycle altogether, and I’m lost long before I realize it, lost in my self-importance, hopelessly entangled in the social milieu, leading myself and everyone around me hopelessly astray. All there is to do then is to notice this, and refocus my primal awareness as best I am able to by returning to an inwardly directed gaze and the most precious gift I have found in all of Lujan’s teachings, my silent breath. This moment is all we ever have, even though we can never really catch it. This life! Such a mystery, a wonder beyond words…

Dr Edward Bassingthwaighte BVSc (honsII), The Healing Vet.

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13 Comments
  1. I’m very excited for you, especially seeing that you work with animals. 😍 I wish you success in continuing your studies and effectively applying everything you learn. ❤️ I’m struggling with the keeping of personal experiences a secret. I read it in the book, but I argued about it in my head because perhaps it’s not my nature? I need to read it again while listening to my breath, but what I’m feeling is such a desperate need to help people realize there is more than what they physically see and to shift into listening to their bodies as a kind of metal detector that guides over the brain (brain is a tool to manifest the heart’s desire). I realize that how one conducts oneself in daily life is the best way to exemplify the inner changes that have taken place, however, most people are divorced from one another, even more so their minds are used separately from their bodies and the world is often moving at such a fast and chaotic pace, that sharing is a way to stimulate imagination while informing others that magic happens in real life, not just at Hogwarts. Maybe just giving your beloved one of the books is a good idea.😉🌹. Ya, my thinking is probably askew, so I’ll examine this principle again and try to straighten myself. Thank you for bringing up this point that is provocative of contemplation for me . With love and warm regards

    • Donna❤️

      I’m struggling with the keeping of personal experiences a secret. I read it in the book, but I argued about it in my head because perhaps it’s not my nature?

      It is not a secret in terms of being secretive. It is holding back the inevitable flow of social dogma so that it can be gently held, to be transformed into other than what it is, into what it will become. So how can that be a secret?❤️

      What originally is realized is communicated with the feeling that you come upon, and this transforms in comparison to the pressure presented via the next individual you meet.

      So as you can see it is a secret wisdom unfolding before your very eyes.

      In other words what you thought you were going to say becomes unexpectedly spoken, so you speak from your heart at that point something totally different. This is how you arrive upon yourself by not being yourself.

      • Thank you so much! This was clearly understood ❤️

  2. Thanks for that, Lujan. Wow! I’m tingling…

  3. Ed I love this. The diligence and (silent) honesty of your practice is an inspiration.
    Your
    Beloved.

  4. That was very beautiful to read and just feel so much joy when reading these wondrous expressed experiences from students from the magical teachings of Lujan. In the following quote, understand but at the same time do not understand.

    Dr. Edward posted: “I’m not going to speak directly of these experiences, not until next I’m face to face with Lujan, in private, not to anyone, not even to my wife, my beloved. These wonders are too precious to be lost to an unhealthy need for social validation.”

    These experiences of love, wonder and awe that students of Lujan experience, are they not the tools/gifts to share, uplift and serve others? Through the experiences of others, we can also learn and grow, this was my first teaching from Lujan (The Dog Parable). This love-based teaching is a very precious tool in my life. Are there some of these experiences of wonder not be shared? Trying to understand in my heart and maybe do not understand the words completely and appreciate any clarification. Posted in genuine curiosity and love and is in no way to judge, just learn.

    • It’s a paradox, I feel. The thing is, the only human I know who I can be sure won’t tangle up my experiences in the social eddys that lead nearly all of us astray, is Lujan. And yes, sometimes I do share experiences, but this is spontaneous, and not when I expect to. The experiences of which I speak may not yet be ripe to share, or perhaps I would have already? I don’t know, and really I don’t need to know :)

  5. Last night, after my post went to examine within and the light came on so bright and left me in awe, filled my whole being with many new love-filled experiences that lead to an explosion within, opening new doors. Through this experience self filled with so much love and joy for all here and there and everywhere. Finding it very difficult to express this in words.

    Thank you so much Dr. Edward for your words, Lujan for your gentle and wise reply and the beautiful hearts of Donna and Marianne, all this triggered a new awareness that was not expected but so appreciated. As we communicate with another with an open heart the information is shared in ways that we may not see, know or understand. The heart sees all and knows all, we do share with others and others share with us without any words.

  6. Wonderful post a new interpretation on “not doing”. I felt called to peruse the writtings of those who are inspired to compose a draft for perusal for scholarship after my daily practice finished and I allowed the Raven to fly away and go about its work. I like this draght. Reminds me of a comment I have left to rattle some peoples self importance by saying, ” the older I get the more I realize most people are only pretending to know what they are doing. ”
    I will end by saying I am grateful for all the great masters who I have encounted along my journey two legged ans four. It does get a bit noisy if they all start talking at once especially the green witch whose incorrigible levity totally destroys my practice of vacuity. If anyone can give advice on silencing her it would be appreciated :)

    • Love her.

    • ” the older I get the more I realize most people are only pretending to know what they are doing. ”

      LOVE LOVE LOVE this :)

  7. There should be more “Edwards” in the world. Vets helping people and their pets on a whole new level. Wishing you every success, Edward. :-)

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