This application for the Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Vincent Giotis. If you would like to offer your support for Vincent please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.
I stumbled upon Lujan Matus some months ago while watching The Cosmic Giggle. The calmness and serenity in his voice caused a kind of relief within me instantly. The way he spoke revealed to me that there is a fundamental and true existing reality, which had a reassuring effect on me while listening to what he was saying. And then there was his laughter…. unreservedly, spontaneous and so joyous… it was an outburst of a Cosmic Giggle. His laughter made me crack up with laughter myself.
His embodiment captivated me right away and made me search for him on the internet. In that way I came across parallelperception.com and started watching videos and reading blogs. As I am watching and listening to videos and reading blogs I get to smile spontaneously when people speak about Lujan.
I don’t know exactly why but it seems that it has something to do with a subconscious recognition within myself as I feel my heart area opening up significantly. After a few moments of smiling I feel emotions whelming up and tears filling my eyes.
I am certain that I want to undertake tuition with Lujan and that it would be beneficial for my well-being. I know Lujan is for real. What I am less certain about is if this is not another flee to redemption as I recently painfully realized about myself that undergoing the dozens of alternative therapies for more than a decade and conducting myself to spiritual exercises, meditation and book reading, were to a considerable degree an escape and a defense mechanism as I was not capable dealing with the here and the now in daily life.
I came to realization that I was on a desperate search in a convulsive manner for a long period of time. But I don’t know what else to do. Honestly, stop searching frightens me. While I am writing these words and in the meanwhile imagine what it would be like when I stopped searching, I suddenly feel a presence or reality arising leaning firmly against me which I can’t put into words…. I burst into tears.
It scares the living daylights out of me. I feel overwhelmed by it and a feeling of tremendous loneliness emerges. I feel lost… do not know where to turn to. Initially I wanted to write more but I feel every attempt to put more words here comes only from my scripted mind… while my body remains in silence.
Thank you for reading and thank you to all applicants for sharing.