I have been reading the blog and forum posts and thought that it might be good if I shared my experience since participating in Dragon’s Tears in March.
I find it hard to express in words all that had been happening since I left Cambodia. And also I have to admit something in me is reluctant to write or talk about it.
I have had many lucid dreams some had left a physical mark. I have seen visions and had experienced colliding forcefully with a black entity while walking down the street. Or have it pass through me while talking with a friend in a restaurant.
I have memories of places and had recognized myself in these memories as living in different time as different people. On other cases I would see some thing in a dream and would stumble across the same thing a few days later in real life.
It had been quite a lot to handle as my mind always steps in trying to box or understand things that are not meant to be understood intellectually, I find myself passing between panic and stillness slowly releasing the need to understand or explain anything.
I realise I know nothing it’s time to be quiet and watch what is unfolding. I feel myself disconnected and with not much energy or patience. And very much aware to all thoughts and emotions that arise. In my river of being shit definitely started to float.
It is interesting to feel like a completely different person and at the same time have my real life exactly the same. I feel that some of my close friends and family find it hard to be around me they get upset. With others on the other hand I have had the wonderful experience of engaging in a conversation where I found myself listening to what comes out of my mouth.
It is a very humbling experience, I have learned and had some issues become very clear while listening. I know I had been given a huge gift, I have been led to find my teacher once again, my hart chose this path I have no expectations or dreams around it.
At this point I watch in wonder for the first time in my life I am speechless. ..