Be In Your Truth Without Bias

resentment-heart-spiritual-innocence

Dear Lujan,

It’s taken me some time to try to absorb all that happened in Cambodia. I have gained  a deep awareness of how much resentment has become my prison. Resentment at the onslaught of violence from what I see around me, which I myself perpetrate by harboring anger deep inside and then use to operate in devious ways to retaliate against those who I feel have wronged me.

The truth is that I feel like those elephants, that after years of being bound and beaten, can be kept tied by a soft rope. Though I recognize my patterns I don’t always catch myself before I lash out and I’m back to feeling bound. 

I kept wondering, how have you protected the innocence of your heart despite all the pain you’ve experienced?

How do I find it again my heart?

I don’t know how to be free, and this hurts me deeply.

Luma

The only way to find the way back to your heart is to be there upon the moments that are the gifts of your life intertwined with all the elements of your journey.

There are so many ways to answer this question. Be in a state of gratitude. and attempt not to have an opinion in the midst of those moments where everybody else does.

Do the most elegant thing that can be done. Those things that need to be accomplished, that are the most difficult things to communicate, which indicates which direction must be embarked upon.

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4 Comments
  1. Thank you, Lujan.

  2. Why are the imprints so easily triggered?
    It seems that to live alone atop a high mountain is the only way.
    I know it is the response that counts, the control of the out burst,
    The anger that rises up though.
    So damn difficult.
    When dealing with people.
    I think it’s about “forgiveness”

  3. Without hope, without dawn, on earth, there be no life, it’s depth is not it’s dullness.

  4. I’ve been dealing with this anger all my life. I fall back on taking deep breaths and trying to push past it and see my trigger, the bigger picture, and what is the reason for it. It is almost always the product of my past, the imprints.

    For some reason, for over ten years, since I bought Lujans first book from Amazon, before he had written others, I have had “Parallel Perception” sitting close by my bed and have not been able to read it for more than a few days. It’s like I become amazingly distracted by anything and everything. I feel a magnetic repulsion, although my gut instinct is I NEED to read it. Is there any way to explain this? I’m a pretty motivated person when I want something, so I can’t understand it. I’ve still not completed it, but everything I have read resonates deep inside me. Especially the glyphs.

    I know the answers are there anand in these pages and in Lujans tutelage. But it feels obscured and out of reach, like a fantasy. I feel like I’m in a dream, and that is the way out, but not in this life, or something like that.

    How does “mental illness” diagnosis fit into your philosophy Lujan? How do you describe manic psychosis for example. What do you observe when you “see” someone who is psychotic? What role does endogenous DMT have if any?

    For me personally, the anger Luma describes, the way he/she describes it, that irritability is the start of losing my perspective. Without my medication (which I don’t think I would need if I had the mental, spiritual and physical discipline and understanding Lujan teaches) I slip into a manic psychosis.

    My senses sharpen, but it’s very difficult to tell what is reality and what is my fantasy.

    All I know, and I got onto this path through the Carlos Castaneda books (the whole series of books which I had no problem reading), is that I am certain these methods are for me. I feel an affinity for them.

    But what IS mental illness? Why does it feel so psychedelic and more vivid than reality?

    Everyone who contributes here, and of course Lujan and Mizpah, have all my respect because you give me hope and help me connect to my self and my close family. I understand that love is the key to everything, and how vital it is in these rapidly changing days.

    I hope I have not been too much of a nuisance.

    Thankyou for your knowledge and much love.

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