Stopping the Internal Dialogue and the Ultimate Not-Doing

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This application for the 2017 Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Emma Vergara. If you would like to offer your support for Emma please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

At 21, after a traumatic period in my life caused me to become an atheist, I read my very first book by Carlos Castaneda. Something inexplicable drew me into the Toltec path, as to me, it felt like the ultimate truth. Shortly thereafter, I received another of Carlos Castaneda’s books in a chance meeting by a stranger. Another, by a friend who had said it had been sitting on his bookshelf for years, “waiting for someone”. And later, after my handbag was stolen with one of those books inside, a colleague of my mum gifted me 7-8 books by the same author, thereby completing my collection – they were meant for another, but she never showed to collect them. You can imagine my surprise and gratitude, both of which cannot be put into words. But know this has given me a particular affinity with books (and their magic) and set me upon the Warrior’s Path.

I tried to incorporate the teachings as best I could, without having a teacher to guide me, but I struggled with my Self Importance and more so, with an intense fear of a particular entity which had been with me since the trauma of my childhood. That fear caused me to back away from the Warriors Path many times over. But I always returned. I knew I needed to take the teachings to the next level, but I was lost without the structure that the Carlos Castaneda books failed to provide. The stories in those books eloquently taught the theory which could be integrated internally, but failed to provide practical structure and techniques, to really bring the path to life.

Fast forward to age 33; I came to realise that my two most pressing tasks, are learning how to live in my heart space, rather than being dominated by my head, and clearing the re-occurrence of negative entities that had plagued me since childhood. I could detect and clear the entities once they attached, but was beginning to feel fearful that they kept returning and I couldn’t work out why. One week I sustained a particularly nasty attack, which left me physically and emotionally tattered.

Quite by chance, I found The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception. The timing was impeccable as a few days after the most recent entity had been cleared, I opened up Lujan’s book and started reading. In this section, he and his benefactors perfectly illustrated the way in which entities attach and remain attached, and what we must do to free ourselves from this bondage. He explained that it wasn’t a case of expulsion, but transforming the root of their attraction. Unravelling our social conditioning so that we’re not trapped in repetitive cycles of action, reaction, action, reaction.

Suddenly everything made sense, particularly how my incessant cycle of thoughts kept me trapped within an awareness that the entities were attracted to. My previous dilemma of being ‘too in my head’ and dealing with these entities was intrinsically linked and I knew I had to step fully into my heart, but how? It was a revelation of such magnitude that it blasted away a decade of stagnancy, due to a fundamental block that I had no awareness of, until that moment.

After years of mental and emotional struggle, I felt the veil lifting and the cage door unlocking. I was overflowing with gratitude and I felt I needed to reach out to Lujan to thank him and his benefactors for transmitting this wisdom.

I didn’t expect him to respond. But he did. And with his response he gave me a gift of such importance, that I feel he knew exactly what I needed.

He gave me his book, Whisperings of the Dragon.

Within, Lujan teaches an incredibly simple method of not only stopping your internal dialogue, but the ultimate not-doing, which allows you to slip perfectly into your heart space and experience the world there, rather than in your head! And this in turn transforms the ability of entities to attach. Since employing Lujan’s techniques my energy feels so much fuller and cleaner not having felt the presence of entities since.

This happened just a few months ago and I am stunned by the beauty in which these lessons have been taught. I literally can’t put into words, how significant Lujan’s teachings -and those beautiful synchronicities- have been for me. My perception and subsequent interaction with the world is forever changed.

Only the Warriors Path can bring true freedom and so far, Lujan has been the catalyst for my first taste, but I have not yet learned to fly. My broken wings are healing and I feel that the opportunity to study with Lujan would allow them to unfurl so I cannot just take my first flight, but truly soar. Fearless and free, like the warrior I feel I’m destined to become.

I feel like my whole life has been in preparation for this moment, readying and cleansing my foundation for the next stage of training. My soul is calling and pulling at me to undertake the Energetic Arts so I can fully heal myself and others. He has been the only teacher to provide true structure and practical techniques and I believe in him more than any other. I want this opportunity more than anything and truly hope this can be my chance.

Thank you!

Emma Vergara
UK

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9 Comments
  1. That is beautiful Emma! I too feel Lujan’s wisdom is the lightest, shortest & finest path to truth.
    good luck!
    love!
    evelina

    • Thank you so much Evelina.

      May we all live and be that truth!

      With love,
      Emma

  2. that was a beautiful blog post and a beautiful story. I wish you the best in your journey.

    • Thank you Philip, that is very kind of you to say. I wish you the best of luck on your journey, too.

  3. Truly beautiful! I really enjoyed reading your journey so far and I hope very much you get to continue this in the way you want. You will gain so much by getting this scholarship, I can really feel that in your writing. The best of luck to you Emma!

    • Thank you, so much. I can’t elucidate why I’m so drawn to this path, as it has no words. It is felt as an intense pull from my heart and solar plexus… the same pull I’ve felt since first that first book.

      With love!
      Emma

  4. I really enjoyed reading your story and thought it was beautifully written. Your passion for this work clearly shone through and how it’s impacted your life!

  5. Wow, this very moment I just had another calling through the medium of books.

    A few years ago I was in a cafe and I had an urge to turn to my left and as I did so, my eyes rested upon a Carlos Castaneda book, but written in Italian. I felt it was a sign, but I didn’t recognise the book as I don’t speak Italian, so I translated the name and discovered I had the book at home. The Second Ring of Power. For whatever reason, I didn’t read the book.

    Just now, I looked to my left and on my bookshelf there was a single book that was pulled right out to the edge, The Second Ring of Power!

    I won’t ignore the sign this time. I know this is my calling. I don’t know why or how this is happening but I fully accept it and am prepared to dedicate my life to it.

  6. I feel I need to share a specific sequence of events I have just experienced this week. It has been extremely intense and plunged me into the second most fear filled period of my life. There has been an immeasurable value to these events and it was absolutely necessary that I go through it.

    The family member of a friend of mine, did something extremely stupid when she was 18 and read the Satanic Bible. She was then institutionalised and was in and out of mental hospitals for 3 years. I totally and utterly sympathised with her, because I know all too well how disabling it is to be triggered by intense fear after seeing or reading something that I wasn’t ready for. A few weeks ago, I saw this friend who was very distressed and explained her cousin had been sectioned again, because she had been to see a demonologist who had filled her head with so many dangerous thoughts that she had a complete break down. Some of the things this girl had claimed was that she had been raped by a demon, and was attacked frequently as she slept, and walk-ins. None of her family believed her and she had been diagnosed with Schizophrenia. My friend was beside herself, and I told her that I would dowse to check whether or not this was taking place, then if the dowsing confirmed that it wasn’t taking place, this information could be used to reassure the girl, coming from somebody who has similar experiences with entities (although not as intense) for over 15 years.

    Anyway, that night, I checked.. And unfortunately, she was in fact dealing with an extremely dark energy, what one would call a ‘demon’. I immediately got in touch with an extremely powerful Soul Healer who was very explicit in that this girl was NOT dealing with mental health issues and she needed to see her immediately.

    Their appointment was arranged for when this girl was released from the mental hospital, on the Tuesday (Halloween). On that day, their appointment was cancelled because there was a death in the family of the healer and she had to fly home to deal with the death. Their appointment was re-scheduled for Thursday.

    I got a frantic message from my friend, saying she’s never seen her cousin this distressed and she’s not sure she’ll be able to make it two days until Thursday. From experience, I TOTALLY understood this and I accepted there was a risk of speaking to her but for me, it was more important that this girl be given the strength she needed to get through the next two days. So I spoke to her on the phone, for 30 minutes, and spoke a bit about my experiences and how I’ve gotten through it and the strength it’s given me, and that she too would find more strength after this than could ever be imagined. She told me something that triggered a traumatic sexual response within me. She left the call feeling strong and energised.

    About 30 minutes later, while cooking, I felt a dense block of energy on my right side, accompanied by intrusive thoughts, e.g. “stab yourself, go on, stab yourself.” And while those thoughts didn’t affect me, I thought it would be best to check whether I had attracted something, through contact with the girl. At that point I was fearful that I had attracted the same demon. I spent 40 minutes doing clearings to which the entity finally left and my physicality felt a release and relief – thought processes returned to normal.

    Even though I was able to detect and clear it, the shock of the event, and the thing that triggered the traumatic sexual energy in my womb, sent my body into a state of complete terror. I would not give in. I tried to remain in my heart and process the fear as it flowed through me, but the bodily fear response was so strong that I was delicately balancing on a rope to which any slight movement could make me fall to the depths, never to return. Despite that, I chose strength, I chose my heart. I resolved that I would just have to deal with and process my body’s response.

    Needless to say I didn’t sleep very well that night and the next day at work I really struggled to function as the fear was so intense. I spoke with the Soul Healer and she said she needed to see me, to clear it off.

    I saw her the next day and she explained that it wasn’t the same dark force that was attached to the girl, it was something else, but what the girl had said to me triggered the sexual trauma of lifetime upon lifetime of perpetration and victimhood along with what I had experienced in my current life, and all of this negative energy was being stored in my womb.

    I began dry vomiting toxic energy, which she said she could see was from my past lives. She then began healing me and I can only describe this as a complete PURGING. The only thing connecting my body to the bed was my lower back, as my whole body was convulsing and I was involuntarily screaming and shouting OUT, OUT! Afterwards, I was utterly exhausted.

    The next day and for the very first time in my life, I felt as if a central channel had been opened in my body with three distinct zones, all fluidly connected, and with a light, spiritually sexual energy in my womb that feels like it should be our natural buoyant state, but we are so disconnected from it that the our relationship with our bodies and sexual energy has become corrupted. I performed the eight gates of dreaming awake and later in the evening I saw fluttering light and a diamond grid superimposed against the wall.

    Despite the darkness I experienced this week, I’ve been delivered into the light and what I went through was absolutely necessary for the purging to take place. I tell you this story because it has made me realise two things; I MUST increase my personal power so I can sustain and facilitate my healing on this journey, and I feel very strongly that the path of Lo Ban Pai is the one I’m being guided to walk. And I MUST continue my journey and education into living entirely in my heart space. This isn’t even an option for me, it is an absolute. There is no other way. The only other option is death… And a warrior never gives up.

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Spiral Energetics - also known as Lo Ban Pai - is an ancient esoteric system of spiritual development that has been hidden for centuries.

It consists of a combination of dynamic and meditative movements that promote energy cultivation.

Spiral Energetics will help you:

• Increase your energy
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• Access heightened states of awareness

It is the only known surviving ‘coiling system’ following the golden ratio spiral principles of the Tao as recently rediscovered by quantum physics. Read more