Dancing Within the Medicine Wheel of Wisdom

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This application for the 2017 Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Simon. If you would like to offer your support for Simon please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

When I looked within for this application I felt that offering a glimpse into my daily practices had the potential to communicate my readiness to begin applying shamanic movements to my spiritual work. I offer now a simple exploration of my work with The Medicine Wheel of Wisdom from Lujan’s book Whisperings of the Dragon:

The poison dragon is as such possessed with poison and can’t be trusted.

Engaging my family online I encounter attempts to manipulate me with a bid for sympathy, self importance and victimization. This pattern has always challenged my interactions with my family. I am about to write a response that presents itself as light and accepting, but then I catch a subtle undercurrent. I am being malicious. Deep down there is a dark, hidden intention to cause guilt for poor behavior, to shame them for applying such tactics. I realize that it wouldn’t have worked. They wouldn’t have been fooled by this tactic, only wounded and defensive, even if they didn’t know why.

The Poison Dragon is preying upon my awareness. I withdraw from the conversation and wait for my heart to clear. I silently observe and watch this influence recede. Something wonderful takes its place. My love for my family arises. My wonder at having incarnated with them and the wisdom they represent becomes clear. I am able to return with the care for my family that is my true nature. I know the poison dragon with a slightly greater bit of depth. I strengthen my resolve to be watchful.

A white tiger is filled with rage and anger and deep resentments that wish to inflict its cruelty.

I am the father of a toddler. I have worked for many years with anger. I feel I have made great progress, and yet, my son regularly brings me to the aspects of myself I have not yet confronted.

Suddenly one day, he throws some metal pots and a toy wooden knife at my face. Pain shoots through my head. A rush of resentment and anger arrives. I angrily yell his name. The desire for an angry power struggle begins to overshadow love and understanding.

I catch something trying to add to what I’m feeling. I sense suggestions that I physically confront my son and remove his toy kitchenware with malice and vengefulness. I hear whispering that tell me to forget his innocence and to punish his insensitivity.

I choose not to follow this pressure. I am fortunate that my partner is there to hold a space of compassion for us both. I leave the room and The White Tiger’s presence is revealed. It is causing the feeling of my heart to shrink like something is gripping the inside of my chest.

Briefly, the white tiger caught me. An image of it prowling pridefully around me for years surfaces within my inner sight. I have work to do.

Then there is the black widow, who is treacherous and lurks deep within her secrets and shadows of deception, laying waste to everything, bringing ruin even to her own self to achieve that outcome.

Everyday I reaffirm my intention to drop the internal dialogue. I work to reverse my gaze inwards. I begin my day with the intention to arrive upon my heart. I seek the feeling of tuning my ears to what I cannot hear. Sometimes it is immediately successful and sometimes it takes the first half of the day to even get a glimpse of this state.

Still, the internal dialogue returns. I watch the effect of its return upon my heart, my body, my energy. Sparring with this influence I can see what it does to me, to my awareness, to the feeling of the moment at hand. I can see it making it very difficult for my true self to be within this body.

The Black Widow has arrived. I very calmly let this understanding sink in. This is something external at play. I have to be careful not to analyze it, I must only observe it very gently. I can sense a deception. The feeling of familiarity, the misguided sense that I am listening to my own voice is extremely strong. I gently rest in the knowing that I am listening to something that is imitating me. This is not my voice, my genuine wisdom.

This influence begins to retreat. My heart brightens. I feel silence return and an image of a dark spider retreating back into the shadows arises within me. I know I will overcome this influence but I don’t know when…

I do know that learning Lo Ban Pai is an important part of my journey, my path to silence. I wonder…is this my chance?

Thanks for reading, good luck to all the other applicants!

Much love,

Simon
Toronto

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10 Comments
  1. Hi Simon I was touched by your post and the way you relate to the poison dragon, white tiger, and black widow. I too find these representations very powerful. I wish you best of luck for the scholarship. In any case I trust you will find a way to see Lujan!

  2. Good work, Simon! Stay within. It’s the only way out.

  3. Thank you for your kindness and supportive words.

  4. Hello Simon,
    thanks for sharing your experience with us. I can totally relate to the way you observe what’ts going on inside. For the time being it seems to be possible only to observe. Maybe at some point the observations are so deep (or quick) that the reactions will change too. At least this is what I would wish, though I don’t know if that is possible at all …
    Kind regards
    Lin

    • Thanks Lin. It certainly seems like our gentle persistence is all we have in this case. Perhaps not quite knowing how the shift we seek will manifest is a good thing so that we don’t get caught up in expectations and stay with the work itself. I would imagine that even once the quietude we seek is installed we will become magnetized towards yet another level of attainment that will require the same presence and non attachment. Grateful for your words!

      • “Gentle persistence” – that’s well said. And it is a beautiful way to move along.

  5. Simon, Thank you for the beautiful transparency in which you speak. As a fellow parent, I find it refreshing and honor your ability to witness the gifts your son is presenting. I was deeply moved my your sharing and wanted you to know that you have a sympatico parent out there – rooting you on! What beautiful self awareness within you.

    • Thank you so much Lynda. That really touches my heart! I hadn’t come to terms with the presence of other parents in this community yet for some reason. It’s uplifting to think of fellow shamanic parents applying their wisdom wholeheartedly. Much love.

  6. Dear Simon, I was resisting to call my mother for a few days (we live in different countries) because I sensed manipulation. It was painful and I was struggling to see her through the eyes of my heart. All the doors in me were firmly shut. And as I was trying to find my gut to call her I began to read your post. And you know what? I became an external observer of a Poisonous Dragon, a White Tiger and a Black Widow in that process. And I called and I found my heart and saw my mother from my heart space and the communication was easy. So grateful for the way your integration of those symbols brought it home for me as well!

    • Vlada,
      Thanks for sharing your bravery with me. It was really uplifting. I’m so grateful for the pressure my family offers for me to live more from my heart. I’m so brightened to see you exploring this gift as well. Much love.

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