Lujan Matus – Lo Ban Pai- Testimonials Page 20

Why do you have fear of me? Ask me Lujan just after we sat at our first meeting to learn Dragon’s Tears. At that moment I recognized that the estrange sensation I have been experience was fear. I also felt treated by the direct question and wanted to answer with the truth I said “I suppose I am fear of the unknown”.

Staring directly at my eyes he said that I was afraid of him and I did not thrust him but that during our encounter I needed to put this at the side. I agreed with this. He added that he never ever will hurt me anyhow. This affirmation entered in me and touched some deep fibers of my being. Looking at his eyes, amazed, I really saw the existence of this space of trust, I relaxed and the fear and distrust vanished really quickly.

I was amazed by the fact I had not to fight my fear to go away. Towards the end of this first day I had the opportunity to tell him I trust him and with my words I sealed a pact with my purpose for the reconnection with my innerchild and also with this sweet man who has shown me that afternoon the possible existence of confidence.

Another day, after practicing Dragon’s Tears, I realized that my original fear was not just the fear to open my heart and being hurt again but there was something else that didn’t want to be discovered. Lujan ask me what it was in my heart saying that it is normal that people started to cry with the practice of the Tears. I started to talk about a situation with my husband. Explaining it I didn’t want to go to any place of drama, complain or despair even if I wanted to beg for a solution to it. So I used my pure observation, I was putting my best in the conversation to really get where was I stocked in my situation.

Lujan listened to me attentively and then he asked me why I was feeling so sad? I turned to see my sadness and something appeared instead, he asked me about the change saying that the best way to act is always saying exactly how you feel. I was already crying but I decided to see what my sadness was exactly. One thought, or more exactly, information that some days before meeting Lujan had came to me seamed to open my mouth. “I feel shame of myself” I said crying as a kid. He stood up and urged me to hug him “come, don’t shame yourself, please”. I went into his arms letting drop this horrible feeling from my entire body. Then I went to blow my nose and in the bathroom I brought together myself and felt that it wasn’t that hard to announce the shame.

In other day we were discussing some details for a project with Lujan and a friend. It seamed they were very happy and engaged with the project and suddenly Lujan asked me what I was thinking. I jumped on top of the conversation talking about stuff that was just filling the nothing. Trying to pull all my attention to something I was just inventing as I had nothing to say, but lots of feelings to hide.

Lujan observed me and ask me to stop that. I did not know what to stop and he said, very seriously: “stop to try to control me, it hurts me, I don’t feel good when you do that”. I did not understand that my reply was trying to control him but instead to defend myself or to find explanations I stayed the more open as possible. He started to follow my mind in a so accurate way that he started to reveal to my own eyes my strategy to sabotage myself and my stalking.

Looking me directly to my eyes, Lujan asked me why. Why do I want to control him or anybody else? Of course! I knew, that is my shit, my unsolved problem, my blind spot. He continued, why do you fill excluded? That was painful and when I was about to feel shame something stopped me, the episode the day before and Lujan’s energy. I asked why I can not get rid of my shame and he said that I use my shame to control. That was more painful but I knew it was totally true. My eyes were totally full and dropping but I stayed with him, I was seeing the arrow going directly to the real prey.

He added that I have to stop to feel excluded because I am not excluded and I am using it to control others. Lujan said he was showing me how to hunt that shadow just after I saw the arrow crossing a space I haven’t seen before. I saw the forest; I saw the arrow turning to hurt the invisible prey hidden just in front of my eyes. Something really felt. Lujan said that the day before he missed it but that now he had hit the mark. I felt totally amazed, empty, in a state of mind I can not explain, I can just reflect on it as if I was finally free.

All is so simple, use to say Lujan, and it is. All the movement of energy that allows me to be able to see the shadow upon me was the direct effect of Lujan’s energy and knowledge. From the very first time I did Dragon’s Tears I knew that it is the most high technology to use true energy. It is real evolution for humanity, the recovery of ourselves. It is the magic of activating your completeness as energy in a very intuitive, elegant and beautiful way.

I have been practicing Tensegrity for 12 years and my body never was so happy and so fluid as it is practicing Dragon’s Tears. Each detail of the movement is a touch for the energy to flow, and so much energy is activated, so MUCH! It goes simple, you feel it, you follow it, you “don’t do”, you feel, you forget everything else, you forget yourself.

My encounter with the nagual Lujan Matus gave me three new dimensions: letting the stars to take the past, opening my heart to my true journey and training my body as a wonderful awake ship to navigate this world, these three are now me. The dust over the shoulders is taken by the wind and the sun of real magic is bright in all directions. It is time for a deep encounter with magic now. I know it is coming; it is inevitable, the awake-evolution of humans arrived.

All my gratitude, nagual.

Melina Angel

Montreal, Canada

I recently visited Lujan in Bali to learn Dragon’s Tears. I had never learnt any kind of martial arts, bar one lesson in Tai Chi many years ago and some Judo lessons for a while as a young child, nor had I undertaken dance lessons since being a very small child, but after deciding to learn Dragon’s Tears I found that my body really was looking forward to it and I felt quite excited about learning these movements.

I was not sure how I would go though and I had some doubts or fears that I would be able to learn. As I met with Lujan, prior to commencing, he sensed my wavering, and my self doubt revealed itself in ways that have shown me how this ongoing detrimental focus toward myself has tended to permeate areas of my life and affect myself and others in a negative way by unconsciously drawing them into uncertainty as well.

Before I had even begun tuition layers of my behaviour were being revealed and I was having to face myself! After this meeting I felt very dislodged and petulant behaviours that I rarely see in myself came to the surface and I had a very physical sensation of these ‘behaviours’ moving over the surface of my body. It was very strange.

The first day of tuition arrived and I went to Lujan’s house. When I arrived we sat down and talked for a little while. Underneath my social mask (which Lujan is very good at seeing and dislodging) I can be a nervous person, but being with him I began quickly to sink into a state of deep happiness, and move beyond my superficial nervous behaviour.

I said that I was often better undertaking practical tasks and so we began ‘Dragon’s Tears’. From that moment on my body began to embrace these movements like I had done them somewhere before, they were new and at the same time familiar to me. They are beautiful and powerful and peaceful all at once.

The first night I went to Lujan’s again to learn gazing techniques and again in his presence I felt deeply at peace. As we gazed I sunk into a state of heightened awareness quickly and easily. My hands began to feel ‘charged’ with energy. The room vibrated with palpable energy and I felt still and quiet in a way that I had only felt when taking psychotropic substances.

That night I woke up in the early hours with the thought that my hands were keeping me awake, so filled with energy they were. It was the same sensation as I had had when waking up from a dream I had dreamt a little while before I went to Bali, where Lujan and I had been playing a strange game and I had felt that my heart was so filled with joy it would burst.

Sometimes while practicing ‘tears’ with Lujan I would see soft light radiating or flowing from his hands as he moved. It seemed perfectly normal at the time. I witnessed Lujan’s room and Lujan’s garden dance with colour and shadows and blue balls of light.

I watched him pull the chimes to and fro with just his energy. I felt something akin to coming home after a long wearying journey. I wanted to ask Lujan many things, but while in his presence I forgot to; I was so happy just to be. I felt I had returned to something I had been long before.

It felt like it had taken a lifetime, but I know I remember this place within myself and every day I look forward to darkness so I can see within it the hues of eternity.

To say these things somehow seems ‘trite’ but this experience was one of deep joy. I feel like I have just scratched the surface of a wondrous journey into life itself, stripped of the social construct that robs us of our energy and consumes the precious moments of our brief journey here.

Lujan said ‘ we are meant to be like this, beings filled with mystery and magic’. Being in his garden and practicing ‘Dragons Tears’ was exquisite. I felt overwhelmed at one point because I knew I would have to return to my ‘real’ life. But, I have brought something of this with me, and I will ever be thankful for this.

With love and gratitude


Brisbane, Australia

In just two weeks of practicing Windlock I have become stronger muscularly all over my body. I also feel it mirroring a strength brewing within myself. All of the movements have martial art or close quarter combat applications which Lujan demonstrated. This for me was about learning how to protect my space – knowing when to start and stop.

My energy has increased – even after a 3 hour practice daily, I’m not tired. I look forward to it every morning. After my practice, my energy is centred and silent and this follows me through the day.
At one point I felt a heat in my feet and legs and sometimes there are little electric pricks of energy, mostly in my legs.

The greatest gift was the realization that I don’t need anything at all. I feel so complete physically and energetically. It’s a space that I could explore for quite some time and works very well with the Eight Gates of Dreaming Awake. I look to what the next few months will reveal through my practice.

Katherine de Boda


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